Funny poker quotes

fcumred

fcumred

Visionary
Silver Level
Joined
Apr 7, 2008
Total posts
588
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #1
Hi, I am currently in the middle of a website project and I desperately need some amusing poker quotes, preferably with the name of the person who said it.

Anyone able to help ?
 
Double-A

Double-A

Visionary
Silver Level
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Total posts
787
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #3
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. ~Steven Wright
 
North_Bank

North_Bank

Rock Star
Silver Level
Joined
Jul 29, 2007
Total posts
148
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #4
"In the poker game of life, women are the rake" - Worm (Ed Norton) in Rounders
 
S

stridsmr

Enthusiast
Silver Level
Joined
Jun 1, 2008
Total posts
48
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #5
"Poker is like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing." -Dutch Boyd

"It is easy to smile at an insult and pretend it's funny when the person insulting you is hosing you with money."
-Alfred Alvarez

"Money isn't everything...unless you're playing in a rebuy tournament."
-Unknown

"It's morally wrong to let a suck keep money."
-Canada Bill Jones
 
slipknot4life

slipknot4life

Enthusiast
Silver Level
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Total posts
55
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #6
poker,poker, it's all skill, put your money in bad and go uphill.
Mike Matasow
 
orchidra

orchidra

Allan with two Owls (ll's)
Loyaler
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Total posts
5,146
Awards
33
NZ
Poker Chips
1,532
Casino Coins
0
  • #7
People would be surprised to know how much I learned about prayer from playing poker - Mary Austin.

If you're playing a poker game and look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you - Paul Newman.
 
Double-A

Double-A

Visionary
Silver Level
Joined
Jul 14, 2008
Total posts
787
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #8
mcobbs09 said:
"Even Your Poker Face Is Ugly" sounds like the best one lol..

lol, that is funny...can't take credit though, saw it on an avatar.
 
Stu_Ungar

Stu_Ungar

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
May 14, 2008
Total posts
6,236
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #9
Show me a good looser and ill show you a looser - Stuart Ungar Jr the Third
 
D

DamianDelPiero

Rock Star
Silver Level
Joined
Apr 30, 2008
Total posts
120
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #10
"You played that hand like a vegan." - Erick Lindgren to Daniel Negreanu
 
DawgBones

DawgBones

Legend
Silver Level
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Total posts
2,183
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #11
"They say poker is a zero-sum game. It must be, because every time I play my sum ends up zero." Max Shapiro
 
shiver

shiver

Visionary
Silver Level
Joined
Aug 12, 2008
Total posts
621
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #12
Stu_Ungar said:
Show me a good looser and ill show you a looser - Stuart Ungar Jr the Third


uh..... Looser...... looser what?

do you mean loser?

I'm not the "spelling police" just trying to make sense of it.
 
P

pokerking123

Rock Star
Silver Level
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Total posts
150
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #13
"poker is like sex, it's funner when you go allin"

I saw it on a shirt
 
Nexus6

Nexus6

Rock Star
Silver Level
Joined
Oct 19, 2008
Total posts
441
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #14
"you'll be fiine" (istan from pokerstars)


"Your shorter than a midget in quicksand" (istan from pokerstars)
 
Latvian Queen

Latvian Queen

Enthusiast
Platinum Level
Joined
Nov 25, 2007
Total posts
92
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #15
"I've earned money in so many ways throughout my life that I can't remember all of those jobs. However, I remember nearly every detail about how I won money in any poker game."

"If you don't know who the sucker is within 30 minutes of sitting down at the table... than your the sucker" (Matt Damon in a movie "Rounders")

Good luck with your site and hope you share it with us !!
 
C

ColorMeBoom

Rising Star
Bronze Level
Joined
Nov 29, 2008
Total posts
7
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #16
You can only play pocket jacks 3 ways, all of which are wrong.
 
narizblanco

narizblanco

Rock Star
Silver Level
Joined
Sep 23, 2007
Total posts
184
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #17
:joyman: It don't matter if the mule is blind you still gotta load the wagon.
 
P

pokerdave77

Enthusiast
Silver Level
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
Total posts
26
Awards
1
Poker Chips
0
Casino Coins
0
  • #18
Top