is it possible to cope with these thoughts

Baurzhan11

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  • #1
hello everyone, I can't cope with these thoughts when I defeat players, it seems to me that I'm doing bad things, I think that they don't lead me to curse because of this I can't play for a long time to me, does everyone have such thoughts and is it worth continuing to do it if such thoughts are in the cardchat for a year I have improved my game I I was able to manage bankruptcy, I go out for profit most of the time, but I am tormented by the thought that I am doing bad things and that I am not being led by people whom I have defeated every time I start playing by making a buy and when I start multiplying my bankroll I have this thought that does not allow me to reason correctly, maybe I'm doing something wrong, maybe it's really not mine

I think people curse me because of this, I stop playing

I like the game itself and the process of the game and everything is connected with the game. I like to win tournaments and take First place, but then my conscience torments me.
 
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  • #2
Baurzhan11 said:
hello everyone, I can't cope with these thoughts when I defeat players, it seems to me that I'm doing bad things, I think that they don't lead me to curse because of this I can't play for a long time to me, does everyone have such thoughts and is it worth continuing to do it if such thoughts are in the cardchat for a year I have improved my game I I was able to manage bankruptcy, I go out for profit most of the time, but I am tormented by the thought that I am doing bad things and that I am not being led by people whom I have defeated every time I start playing by making a buy and when I start multiplying my bankroll I have this thought that does not allow me to reason correctly, maybe I'm doing something wrong, maybe it's really not mine
It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of inner conflict and self-doubt regarding your participation in card games and your success in defeating other players. It's not uncommon for people to struggle with thoughts of morality and ethical concerns, especially when it comes to activities like gambling.

It's important to acknowledge that these thoughts and feelings are valid and it's okay to have them. However, it's also important to examine where these thoughts are coming from and whether they align with your personal values and beliefs.
 
Baurzhan11

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  • #3
Maybe I need a psychologist to figure it out.

at the moment, I believe that my psyche is broken and I am faced with a choice not to break down further
 
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  • #4
Sounds terrifying to me. I think we should not give medical advice in this forum. I would suggest to speak with a doctor or professional.
 
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Baurzhan11

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  • #5
in some place, poker has supported me In difficult mental times, but this has distanced me from my lifestyle and my lifestyle, I am not satisfied with a lot of things and at the moment I have a choice to further improve my life, develop without poker or poker without my image
 
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  • #6
I think the only choice worth considering is to improve your life, no not everyone has these thoughts you mention. I would find a professional to help you improve things for yourself👍
 
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  • #7
You may have a disorder known as obsessive compulsive disorder, these are irrational and superstitious thoughts that make you think that you are harming others. Poker is precisely a hunting game where you are the predator, seek information about OCD because your thinking is irrational for poker.
 
Baurzhan11

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  • #8
ZenonBR said:
You may have a disorder known as obsessive compulsive disorder, these are irrational and superstitious thoughts that make you think that you are harming others. Poker is precisely a hunting game where you are the predator, seek information about OCD because your thinking is irrational for poker.
I do not know about the disorder, perhaps it is from other motives, but I can say for sure that there are thoughts that I am harming people and this does not allow me to continue, perhaps it really is not mine
 
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  • #9
ZenonBR said:
You may have a disorder known as obsessive compulsive disorder, these are irrational and superstitious thoughts that make you think that you are harming others. Poker is precisely a hunting game where you are the predator, seek information about OCD because your thinking is irrational for poker.
I think this is because I lived most of the years of my life without poker and poker and where I lived poker was considered something not good and it was condemned maybe I got used to this lifestyle and couldn't accept it although I like the process of playing even it inspires me makes me happier when compared with other things but I can't accept it as an income
 
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  • #10
I think you need help from professionals, they can help you and tell you words with more foundations than any of us in this forum. If you ask me, there's nothing wrong with poker. It just depends on the eyes of the person who sees it.
 
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Baurzhan11

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  • #11
I thought I was psychologically strong on this issue, but no, I couldn't
 
Baurzhan11

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  • #12
This is purely my subjective opinion
 
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  • #13
I think you need to forget about poker a little bit and do other things after which after a while you'll figure out if you need poker, and that's it. If you come back again and play poker then you can play poker and you need it like this, you'll figure out your right decision just don't play poker for a while
 
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  • #14
Something similar is happening to me.
 
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  • #15
There is nothing good in poker, you just get money from people who play cards little bit worse, or is less luckier, and it's in a good case.

In the worst case you just lose your money.

There is nothing wrong that you feel something like that.
 
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  • #16
Baurzhan11 said:
I thought I was psychologically strong on this issue, but no, I couldn't
Poker is not for everyone. It is causing your anxiety therefore it is not for you. There is no need to harm yourself. Find other hobbies that will bring you joy & happiness.
 
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  • #17
Don't worry. You will feel better when you start losing money. I don't know how well you're doing on WPT but on PokerStars it doesn't look like you're making a killing on anyone, so I'm sure it's ok and only the freeloaders are making a stink when you knock them out.
 
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  • #18
Baurzhan11 said:
I do not know about the disorder, perhaps it is from other motives, but I can say for sure that there are thoughts that I am harming people and this does not allow me to continue, perhaps it really is not mine
Maybe this will help you....

First, you're not taking their money...your opponent(s) are giving you their money.

Second, if your opponent has the chance to do so they will gladly accept your money and congratulate themselves about how smart they are to do that.

It is understandable that in your culture/society you feel shame for playing poker successfully. It is difficult to continue to embrace that culture and continue to play poker successfully.

It is up to you how you want to feel.
 
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  • #19
Maybe the key might be to just punt off 50 percent of your winnings to give back to the poker players.
 
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  • #20
On PokerStars your average buyin is only $0,13, so you have surely not contributed to anyone getting into financial problems due to playing poker. As you seem to understand already, this is really a case for a psychologist rather than a poker forum. But if poker gives you negative thoughts, then why not just give it up and find another hobby?
 
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  • #21
Yes, poker is predatory.

But so are a lot of other sports & games.

At least you don't beat the living shit out of someone, like in bare-knuckle boxing/fighting for example.

 
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  • #22
pentazepam said:
Yes, poker is predatory.
It is indeed. But when I knock someone out of a $5-10 tournament, I assume, they gamble responsibly, and that this will not cause them to lose their home or their kids to go hungry. If I was the owner of a liquor store I would also not feel bad about my customers potentially having an alcohol problem, and I would only take action, if it somehow came to my attention, that one of my customers actually did. Most sites have responsible gambling policies, which hopefully capture at least some of the problems, before they spiral out of control.
 
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  • #23
Poker is a game if it is giving you mental distress, take a break, and if it continues just get another hobby.
 
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  • #24
Baurzhan11 said:
hello everyone, I can't cope with these thoughts when I defeat players, it seems to me that I'm doing bad things, I think that they don't lead me to curse because of this I can't play for a long time to me, does everyone have such thoughts and is it worth continuing to do it if such thoughts are in the cardchat for a year I have improved my game I I was able to manage bankruptcy, I go out for profit most of the time, but I am tormented by the thought that I am doing bad things and that I am not being led by people whom I have defeated every time I start playing by making a buy and when I start multiplying my bankroll I have this thought that does not allow me to reason correctly, maybe I'm doing something wrong, maybe it's really not mine

I think people curse me because of this, I stop playing

I like the game itself and the process of the game and everything is connected with the game. I like to win tournaments and take First place, but then my conscience torments me.
You must reflect on duality and dissolve it through letting go of control or emotional reaction. Nothing is right or wrong, everything is about phases in which we must learn something, we find it very sad to lose, but sometimes we lose because we didn't put in the right effort to improve the game, other times we lose because this activity is the right activity for us , or also because we don't do it from the heart. Every path is always teaching you something. Other people's insults are not about who you are, you have to keep that in mind and know who you are, people's reactions are not about you, don't let anyone get under your skin.
If you reflect deeply, there is no activity you can do, or be successful at, without someone feeling harmed. The whole world is like this and all things are, but the only problem is that everyone blames circumstances, people and the world, forgetting to change and know themselves.
 
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  • #25
Baurzhan11 said:
I think this is because I lived most of the years of my life without poker and poker and where I lived poker was considered something not good and it was condemned maybe I got used to this lifestyle and couldn't accept it although I like the process of playing even it inspires me makes me happier when compared with other things but I can't accept it as an income
I'm not sure if this is the reason you feel this way while playing...
I came from a home where my mother LOVED to play poker & we would ALWAYS play poker at family gatherings, Sunday dinners, with Great Grandmother, Great Great Aunt... everyone would play. (my father... not too interested and his family did not play at all).
My mother was my biggest fan when it came to me playing poker in later life.

BUT I too have felt those same feelings you are experiencing... I felt guilty for tricking them & for taking their money.
I only felt this while playing cash games, not while playing tournaments. In a tournament everyone pays an entry fee when you sign up expecting to be KO'd at some point, typically while not in the money BUT cash game is different. It's constantly trying to deceive & exploit your opponent, to TAKE his money. I totally understand the negative feelings associated with this!

Early in my online poker journey I would often send money to players on the tables after I'd stacked them off.
Playing 2c/5c or 5c/10c games on Fulltilt, it was easy to quickly do player-to-player transfer & send them $5 (I think $5 was the min. to send on Fulltilt). I probably did this close to 50 times. ($300?)
Looking back on this today some of them must've thought (knew) I was crazy. There was no way to lose vs. me, lol.
 
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