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Message: [QUOTE="blankoblanco, post: 1102184, member: 11119"] Alright. I'm going to try to wrap this up with some thoughts, and I hope at least a few of you find this worth reading! Firstly I want to once again thank you guys, especially those who bet against me, NineLions for generously running the guess-the-#-of-hands contest, and everyone who wished me luck along the way. Even though I've earned this money myself, there's no way I would have done so without all the motivation you guys have provided. As a college student, this money means a lot to me. I was always too fearful of the idea of losing to really take the chance and see what I was capable of. Going into this month, I had no idea what the result would be. After the first thousand hands I was convinced I might not be a winning player at this limit at all. I'll have to find my own motivation from here on out, but this month has given me the confidence and experience to make that easier. More than anything else, this has given me some insight into what it would be like to play poker for a living. If this month's results are at all accurate, there's the potential for that, and it's something I've thought about a great deal. I'm pretty disenchanted with school and my major (psychology), and have come to realize that I don't want to go down any of the career paths I seem to be working towards. So I've been considering taking a year off of school (if not dropping out) to try something else and see where it would take me. This experience will weigh heavily on my mind when it comes time to make that decision. What I can tell you, which you already know, is that poker is not easy when taken beyond mere recreation, when the money is very important. It's mentally taxing, emotionally draining. Dizzying highs, excruciating lows. There were probably a handful of times this month where I thought "I swear I'm never playing this ****ing game again!" but I'll always come back because I love poker. It can do awful things to a person's psyche, but I love the game. For those who, like me, aspire to play professionally, all I can say is that it's a damn difficult thing to do. Much harder than I even realize at this point, probably, since I've only done this for a month. But I'm also a strong advocate of people going for their dreams and taking chances in life. You just have to find out if poker still makes you happy when it becomes an obligation. That's what I still have to figure out for myself. But I can't help but think it's still what I really want to do. I just have some emotional and psychological kinks to work out. I think the prop bet did add an element of stress and pressure that wouldn't have been there otherwise -- not that I regret it. But the bad days hurt a little worse simply because I knew I'd need to post the graph, my failure for all eyes to see! I hate hate hate to lose, but losing days and losing weeks are an inevitability in poker no matter who you are, and that's just something I have to get used to. It will definitely be a relief to again be able to take days off, or to quit when I know I should instead of needing to clock in another x amount of hands. A relief. I'm relieved. It's over. I won! Expect big things from me in the future Peace and love -combu [IMG]http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y3/strikesback502/yay.jpg[/IMG] [/QUOTE]

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