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Message: [QUOTE="STL FAN, post: 2669627, member: 120788"] What motivates me? Listening to music, pain from lyrics, I can repeat the words, somehow, I know, and remember all the words. Flow of the music, beats, rhythm, rhymes, all that would encompass a world of motivation to know the words. Passion from the video I watch, strength from what I feel, from how they present their story. Sometimes it is like a burning hell from within when I stumble on the felt. The same happens when I get the words wrong, even though, I mastered the lyrics; the order escapes me in the moment. I will abide, and then I lie to myself, why should I lie when I know I can just replay and get them right? Seems pointless to even write? But hey the passion not wanting to get the lyrics wrong is the same drive to figure out when the better tight player is now changing gears with two napkins. The dynamic shift is what I recognize, but am I reacting to a good hand instead? Why? Because I shift dynamics but mostly the shift is because of the cards, and not making a true table dynamic shift that needs no cards. I can shift table dynamics freely but do not open up properly in proper moments for reasons that I have not figured out about myself. I do not give the right credit to the right player in the moment? The reason, universally people will usually only shift when they have a hand they have waited for not because of recognizing this is the proper play that a change of table dynamics would suggest. But this buy in is not the one I am used to. Now similar situations arise that my brain is now locked up. My thought process is shut down. Unconscious competence is gone; conscious thought about my situation, what do I do? Remember the 15,000 plus tournament hands in similar situations? The hook brings me back to the point of not knowing my situation with clear understanding, now on which do I rely? How did I miss this again? How did another see this but it escaped me? Flow, passion, rhythm, balance, how do I master the change just like the flow of the game? In the moment the player who now has a hand from previous information is now just making a move because of the point in the game? I see but have no courage, I know the words but they escape in the moment. I see the change but only act when I know it. If I can master the words eventually I will master the change as well. I played in a $6.00 R/A $1500.00 GTD Saturday night. I saw the change early; it is easier for me to see the change in a LAG, especially a poor one. The early part of the game I took advantage, and also balanced this with my normal play. Gathered many chips, but as time went along, deeper into the game I found myself not remembering the words. The order in which I know them now are erased in my mind. In myself, I see some of the other players, the better players; it is though I am playing against my style, myself in their style. It is hard for me to jump at the chance because of what I know about myself in what I am reading at the table. It is like a trap in my mind because of how I play. It is as if I am now handcuffed in these situations. This is where I stumble; I refer back to the many deep trenches of improper play in my mind. Even though, I finished 6th I felt I was the one who was hanging on and not in command of my own outcome. I do better in a lower buy in but I want to improve, accept the challenge of better players. Somehow get the flow, the words, the important changes in the game, the opponents, try and hit the moving target. [/QUOTE]

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