Witty retorts?

DaveE · Feb 18, 2008

I've seen some really funny comebacks around here lately directed at online trashtalkers.

Irexes': villain "defend your play"...hero "i got your monies....that do?" and Dorkus' "what's that? I can't hear you from behind this big stack of your chips" come to mind as recent gems (paraphrased).

I love reading these. Anyone have any beauts they'd like to share?

Boltneck · Feb 18, 2008

Well, my favourite has nothing to do with poker - it's cricket related, but don't worry you don't need to understand cricket to appreciate the comment. I'm afraid I can't remember the names of the players involved, but the comment were:-

Player 1 "Why are you so fat"?
Player 2 "Because every time I make love to your wife (not the actual words!!!) she gives me a buscuit.

Bolt

cooterl · Feb 18, 2008

i got some for you

i like to use the word toidi which is idiot backwards or stoidi u get the hint on that one. also like to introduce myself as vic, vic tory. then for me is the always popular, NH then let them say ty and i immediately reply 4 me to poop on

Stick66 · Feb 18, 2008

After taking a his chips:

Villian: You moron. F****** idiot.
Stick: Oh, a child. Isn't it a school night?

Dewmz · Feb 18, 2008

I think Rex takes the cake, though I'd like to see stuff from JD.

larkem · Feb 18, 2008

LOL at this thread! But ya i dunno i love it when someone tries to make a witty comeback and it just bites em in the arse

DrumDemon · Feb 18, 2008

This isn't really a comeback but its a good way to egg someone on after a nice bet.

You should call me... You're mom(/wife/girlfriend/whatever) calls me all the time.

Shylax · Feb 18, 2008

DrumDemon said:
This isn't really a comeback but its a good way to egg someone on after a nice bet.

You should call me... You're mom(/wife/girlfriend/whatever) calls me all the time.

That's cold, lol

Dorkus Malorkus · Feb 18, 2008

Boltneck said:
Well, my favourite has nothing to do with poker - it's cricket related, but don't worry you don't need to understand cricket to appreciate the comment. I'm afraid I can't remember the names of the players involved, but the comment were:-

Player 1 "Why are you so fat"?
Player 2 "Because every time I make love to your wife (not the actual words!!!) she gives me a buscuit.

Bolt

Player 1 = Glenn McGrath (Australia)
Player 2 = Eddo Brandes (Zimbabwe)

classic quote imo.

Irexes · Feb 18, 2008

I win moderate pot against this chappie...

Say_Cheeze: n1 genius
Irexes: kisses
Irexes: xxxxx
Say_Cheeze: huh?
wydadi: all in ?
wydadi:

Say_Cheeze: goood
Say_Cheeze: lord
Say_Cheeze: u are so f in dum
wydadi: gg
Say_Cheeze: limp in
Say_Cheeze: i raise
Say_Cheeze: u no we are the only ones in the hand
Say_Cheeze: then u re reais e me
Say_Cheeze: brillinat
wydadi: yeah
wydadi: u right
Irexes: hey cheeze
wydadi: he done gr8
Irexes: wanna cy8er?

slgalt · Feb 18, 2008

Certain sites have a very high number of abusive boys trash talking girl players. If they are being vulgar and/or hitting on me I have learned to say "I might be a dude" in several languages. If they are blustering on about having balls, I wait until I take a huge pot and say "I don't need balls, I got the NUTS."

There are times when I will sit out and just verbally joust with an abusive player. Although it's just not very fair fighting with unarmed children.

Dorkus Malorkus · Feb 18, 2008

Say_Cheeze: limp in
Say_Cheeze: i raise
Say_Cheeze: u no we are the only ones in the hand
Say_Cheeze: then u re reais e me
Say_Cheeze: brillinat

i can only assume you're not aware of the widespread "no 3-betting when heads up" rule Rex?

belladonna05 · Feb 18, 2008

Boltneck said:
Well, my favourite has nothing to do with poker - it's cricket related, but don't worry you don't need to understand cricket to appreciate the comment. I'm afraid I can't remember the names of the players involved, but the comment were:-

Player 1 "Why are you so fat"?
Player 2 "Because every time I make love to your wife (not the actual words!!!) she gives me a buscuit.

Bolt

Thats funny I don't care who you are.....:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

mrrigel · Feb 18, 2008

Most who talk crap have garbage stats so i just sharkscope em. After telliing the rest of the table to check out how funny their stats are i post their stats in the chatbox and follow up with nonstop laughter again and again and aqain.......tilt is innevitable..........funny and rewarding.

arahel_jazz · Feb 18, 2008

Best line of the PS $1 cheaproll:

"joepoissant: took me 4 hours to get that 1$"

ROFLMAO

Jack Daniels · Feb 18, 2008

Dewmz said:
though I'd like to see stuff from JD.

I'm really not that funny.

Munchrs · Feb 19, 2008

Jack Daniels said:
I'm really not that funny.

ROFLMAO! good one JD, good one.

mrrigel · Feb 19, 2008

"can i have your autograph", "wow thats deep", "i'll have to write that one down" all made me laugh

Gobbs · Feb 19, 2008

I kind of like this one when somebody tells me how to play the cards...

"You play your cards...
...and I'll play you."

ratmantoo · Feb 19, 2008

ROFL!!

One of my favourites -

Villain : call - i got you beat!!
Villain : how the hell can u call that
Villain : f* you slow played quads!!!!!!!
Ratmantoo : No - just you

phisig6057 · Feb 19, 2008

DrumDemon said:
This isn't really a comeback but its a good way to egg someone on after a nice bet.

You should call me... You're mom(/wife/girlfriend/whatever) calls me all the time.

That's beautiful!! I may have to steal this one and incorporate it into my repoirtoire.

KingCurtis · Feb 19, 2008

im glad CC is ready with comeback so we dont look like folls....o wait we win tournaments...lol we dont need to talk the winning speaks for itself!

jaymfc · Feb 19, 2008

Jack Daniels said:
I'm really not that funny.

well how bout a picture then

or maybe some of your hh's

Jack Daniels · Feb 19, 2008

jaymfc said:
well how bout a picture then or maybe some of your hh's

Can't do a pic, promised Nick and all...something about breaking the server. Oh, and HH are bad too...no one should ever laugh that hard, you could hurt or pull something.

belladonna05 · Feb 20, 2008

Ok this falls under the not a witty retort, but the question begged for some kind of answer, lol. I flopped a full house and they bet into me.....

Witty retorts?

DaveE

Solvem probler

Boltneck

Rock Star

cooterl

Rising Star

Stick66

Legend

Dewmz

Visionary

larkem

Enthusiast

DrumDemon

Enthusiast

Shylax

Rock Star

Dorkus Malorkus

Mod Emeritus

Irexes

Legend

slgalt

Rock Star

Dorkus Malorkus

Mod Emeritus

belladonna05

School of nightshade

mrrigel

Rock Star

arahel_jazz

Unbalanced and Committed

Jack Daniels

Charcoal Mellowed

Munchrs

Legend

mrrigel

Rock Star

Gobbs

Enthusiast

ratmantoo

Visionary

phisig6057

Enthusiast

KingCurtis

Legend

jaymfc

R.I.P DJ & Buck

Jack Daniels

Charcoal Mellowed

belladonna05

School of nightshade

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