The answer to the question "What do you do when you lose the urge to play poker?"

[loopmeister]

I told my girlfriend I was giving up poker for a while, she said, "Who the hell are you?"
"Your loving boyfriend, hon. It's me"
"But... you disappeared six months ago and no-one's seen you since. I told everyone you were kidnapped and sold into slavery my Afghan nomads."

True story.