A Breakup Letter With Variance

xOneCoolHandx · Nov 2, 2020

Dear Variance,
This was a very hard decision to come to, but I have decided that it is time to break up with you and go our separate ways. I would say that it's not you but me...but it really is you. You cause me to act in ways that I wouldn't if you weren't in my life. I yell at the dog, curse God and beat the shit out of my punching bag because of the things you do. Your bewildering actions linger in my thoughts and keep me awake late into the night when I should be resting peacefully. I feel like you wreak havoc and chaos into my life, a life that was so peaceful before you came along. So, I will not cry or be upset when I see you with others. I will smile and give you a friendly wave and try to remember the few good times that we've had. Like the time my AK flopped a straight against Noona's AA and try to suppress all the bile the mention of your name brings to my throat. So, be free Variance, be free to roam the earth and find your soulmate.
Not with Love,
Mark

crazycitizen · Nov 3, 2020

That was beautiful

bablovod · Nov 3, 2020

dude, it's so beautiful to offer to stay not friends, not everyone can do it.

I wish you never met that old bitch:girlshit: (you should have demanded in court, never come near you before the end of any game).
you are just a master (God) of parting.:icon_thum
good luck at the tables!

KozakAlex · Nov 3, 2020

xOneCoolHandx said:
Dear Variance,
This was a very hard decision to come to, but I have decided that it is time to break up with you and go our separate ways. I would say that it's not you but me...but it really is you. You cause me to act in ways that I wouldn't if you weren't in my life. I yell at the dog, curse God and beat the shit out of my punching bag because of the things you do. Your bewildering actions linger in my thoughts and keep me awake late into the night when I should be resting peacefully. I feel like you wreak havoc and chaos into my life, a life that was so peaceful before you came along. So, I will not cry or be upset when I see you with others. I will smile and give you a friendly wave and try to remember the few good times that we've had. Like the time my AK flopped a straight against Noona's AA and try to suppress all the bile the mention of your name brings to my throat. So, be free Variance, be free to roam the earth and find your soulmate.
Not with Love,
Mark

Thank you very much fun. He laughed heartily.

Andrei Korolev · Nov 3, 2020

I wish everyone to part with her and never meet again...Good luck...

Katie Dozier · Nov 3, 2020

Lol, thanks for writing this and for the laugh! [emoji38]

NWPatriot · Nov 3, 2020

Awesome work.

What about the restraining order? I hear that others have tried, but she keeps coming back, like an evil stalker.

Good luck nd God bless.

xOneCoolHandx · Nov 3, 2020

Katie Dozier said:
Lol, thanks for writing this and for the laugh! [emoji38]

I do aim to entertain

MrPokerVerse · Nov 3, 2020

Think you should give it another chance. Those love - hate relationship are the best. My guess, you will be back on you're knees with a ring. No, I wont be the best man or even attend. You two deserve one another!

xOneCoolHandx · Nov 5, 2020

MrPokerVerse said:
Think you should give it another chance. Those love - hate relationship are the best. My guess, you will be back on you're knees with a ring. No, I wont be the best man or even attend. You two deserve one another!

I don't need you to be the best man...you would serve me better by being a sniper...make sure the head shot is clean

xOneCoolHandx · Dec 1, 2020

Variance...NO MEANS NO!! Aww crap, she does not listen well.

perrypip · Dec 2, 2020

Sorry it doesn't work this way. Variance will get you for alimony and child support.

IntenseHeat · Dec 2, 2020

I think that the saddest part is that variance wasn't being faithful to you anyway. That cold witch was seeing other registrants behind your back the whole time.

Mortis71 · Dec 2, 2020

LMAO....
NO means No!!

xOneCoolHandx · Apr 5, 2021

Change of heart

Forgive me Variance, please come back so that I may win at least one flip out of 4. I will do anything you ask. I was a fool to cast you out and take up company with your sister BadBeatBetty. She is nothing compared to you.

PLEASE COME BACK TO ME

florestaftw · Apr 6, 2021

xOneCoolHandx said:
Dear Variance,
This was a very hard decision to come to, but I have decided that it is time to break up with you and go our separate ways. I would say that it's not you but me...but it really is you. You cause me to act in ways that I wouldn't if you weren't in my life. I yell at the dog, curse God and beat the shit out of my punching bag because of the things you do. Your bewildering actions linger in my thoughts and keep me awake late into the night when I should be resting peacefully. I feel like you wreak havoc and chaos into my life, a life that was so peaceful before you came along. So, I will not cry or be upset when I see you with others. I will smile and give you a friendly wave and try to remember the few good times that we've had. Like the time my AK flopped a straight against Noona's AA and try to suppress all the bile the mention of your name brings to my throat. So, be free Variance, be free to roam the earth and find your soulmate.
Not with Love,
Mark

What a nice letter, a situation of love and hate

77ecos · Apr 6, 2021

the blessed variance at times and damn at other times, we are her children forever so it is impossible to break ties, but as a good mother she will give us very beautiful moments

IntenseHeat · Apr 7, 2021

xOneCoolHandx said:
Forgive me Variance, please come back so that I may win at least one flip out of 4. I will do anything you ask. I was a fool to cast you out and take up company with your sister BadBeatBetty. She is nothing compared to you.

PLEASE COME BACK TO ME

I wonder if Katie laughed as hard as I am laughing right now.

abgvedr · Apr 7, 2021

Yeah and then she replies
Ok fine. See you at the tables next week

xOneCoolHandx said:
Dear Variance

xOneCoolHandx · Apr 10, 2021

abgvedr said:
Yeah and then she replies
Ok fine. See you at the tables next week

Unfortunately, her and Bad Beat Betty have decided to involve me in a 3-way

Zvezda kz · Apr 10, 2021

What a thoughtful decision, what an understanding of the nature of psychological breakdowns. But in order to break off relations, it is necessary to find a substitution and I think there is more than one in sequence. Unfortunately, it is difficult to find something like this for replacement, preferably without financial investments.

CheezeWiz · Apr 10, 2021

My Favorite Part Of The Break Up Letter Was...

"it's not you but me...but it really is you."

I cannot stop laughing about that one...

But leave it up to me to just be selfish about a good laugh and pass on the substance of the post...lol!

Best of Luck At The Tables, Mark and All!

CheezeWiz

Serjo600 · Apr 10, 2021

Great, join the essay, see you later variance)

CheezeWiz · Sep 15, 2021

Rumor Has It...

You two have been seen rubbing shoulders at the Poker Table again recently... saw it on TMZ, no video though, so not sure if it is true?

research · Sep 17, 2021

Lmao thank you for some truly rib tickling humour. May we always treat our bad runs in this vein.

A Breakup Letter With Variance

xOneCoolHandx

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crazycitizen

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bablovod

stupid parody of the game

KozakAlex

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Andrei Korolev

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Katie Dozier

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NWPatriot

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xOneCoolHandx

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MrPokerVerse

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xOneCoolHandx

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xOneCoolHandx

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perrypip

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IntenseHeat

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Mortis71

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xOneCoolHandx

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florestaftw

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77ecos

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IntenseHeat

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abgvedr

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xOneCoolHandx

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Zvezda kz

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Serjo600

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CheezeWiz

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research

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