Had a huge row with Girlfriend over poker tonight!

this week I've put some serious hours in online I took a break tuesday and decided to log on to 888, I havent played there in months I switched to pokerstars and never looked back really due to sheer volume.
Tuesday night I was bored and I fancied a change from so tapped into 888 played some freeroll, and I finished 3/3000+ in the freeroll made $3.76 within 24 hours I've got $150 dollers in my account from sit n gos and mtts,
I tell her Im gonna invest the next few weeks in the evenings for a few hours, to get my bankroll over 1k while im off work till jan, then I can BR manage at higher stakes and pretty much make a few quid here and there (which I know I would of done at 888 before xmas is out. I have improved since summer but I didn't expect to run up a bankroll so easilly off $3.76

She issues me the ultimatum. If you wanna play that **** here every night you can leave I dont care how much money you think you can make.
get out tommorow.
Your obsessed with it
So obviously this means I cant play much poker at all and its not wise to do so, unless I want xmas in a B&B or on a sofa at my fathers.

This is what I did, put my entire bankroll into the 3 biggest mtts running and basically said If I cash 4 figures I wont play till after xmas, and If I dont I wont be able too.

2 hours I was up there ofcourse I am steaming now after arguing, So I was playing for 1st place and busted out after like 3 hours.
I know its bad but I didn't really have a choice I can live without the $150 lost but wanted that bankroll so badly,
So I could play all the best mtts as and when throughout the year and adventually the live satellites when it grows.

I feel I made the right choice because I now cant play poker on 888 and Im not likely to invest my own money, or spend the hours to rack up $10 again.
I have proved that the poker isn't more important than family.
But its just so frustrating the main reason apart from enjoyment I play the game is to make extra money, which ofcourse goes into the house and long term the key goal is to become good enough to change our lives to some extent,

Really makes me sad that women can get like this

If she does not support your decisions and hobbies, leave her.

I like the passion. lol
maybe one day I would rather put myself last though for my daughters sake, and granted if it gets to the point where it cant work then if leaving was the best option for her I would

you can always get a new girlfriend

cotta777 said:

I like the passion. lol

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Ahhhhh. I get it... she's Italian.

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cotta777 said:

Really makes me sad that women can get like this

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Do us all a favor and don't make sexist comments like this one. Men get like this, too.

-HooDooKoo

i have been playing for 40 years now the last 20 for a living due to a back injury which ended my construction career. if she is correct that you are obsessed then dont be. there is plenty of time for poker without being obsessed with it. A woman needs time with her man and a man should not deprive her of it. be satisfied with your winnings and let them add up and over time it makes for a nice little check. God and Family above all.

cotta777 said:

I like the passion. lol
maybe one day I would rather put myself last though for my daughters sake, and granted if it gets to the point where it cant work then if leaving was the best option for her I would

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Ahh, you have a child with her, strike my comment then. Maybe try to make poker a weekend thing and maybe play live. Having such easy access can make it a problem and seem like an addiction.

baudib1 said:

you can always get a new girlfriend

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My main man B, coul not have said it better

Let her suggest a schedule for your poker time and see where she is at. If she min bets, raise her and see if she folds. If she calls your bluff and goes all in, you have a decision to make. Good luck to you.

Tell her what you are trying to do, if she still gives you the evil eye tell her to fark off.

An optimist might argue that if you reduce your frequency of play, you will be compelled to become more selective in the games that you play, and that your hourly rate will improve.

cotta777 said:

I have proved that the poker isn't more important than family.

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Bravo! I can't think of anything that is more important than family.

cotta777 said:

Really makes me sad that women can get like this

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I'm willing to bet (pardon the expression) that she makes sacrifices for you too. If not, now she owes you one. Give and take is essential to any good relationship.

I vote Ivan for thread captain.

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IPlay said:

If she does not support your decisions and hobbies, leave her.

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I dont think that.If I play for may famliy,then if playing would hurt my family,then I have to leave poker.All I can do is to let my wife to understand me if I still want to play.

Speaking of 888 I know of a couple who plays together but on different accounts I know this because they play on the poker cam cash game tables and they are really cute together :icon_flow
Anyways obviously not all girlfriends have such awesome similar interests they can share with there boyfriend, I think you should compromise and balance poker and your girlfriend as best as you can and if you can't then I have to agree with your girlfriend that you are obsessed, you should put family over poker, but who am I to judge I only can give the advice, me personally I might just go gangster grab the things out the house and leave the girl for another

bernotas22 said:

Speaking of 888 I know of a couple who plays together but on different accounts I know this because they play on the poker cam cash game tables and they are really cute together :icon_flow
Anyways obviously not all girlfriends have such awesome similar interests they can share with there boyfriend, I think you should compromise and balance poker and your girlfriend as best as you can and if you can't then I have to agree with your girlfriend that you are obsessed, you should put family over poker, but who am I to judge I only can give the advice, me personally I might just go gangster grab the things out the house and leave the girl for another

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Going gangster would be telling her to keep the stuff as a thank you for services through out your time together, no

naruto_miu said:

Going gangster would be telling her to keep the stuff as a thank you for services through out your time together, no

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manly men don't have feelings I will leave it at that

OP, stop playing tournaments and move to cash instead. That way you can always stop nearly instantly when your gf needs attention.

Also, if you're off work at the moment, play during the day and spend the evenings with her.

If you can't do this, i fully sympathise with your gf and wish her well in her quest for a better man.

I have this all the time with my girlfriend. She hates poker even though she knows it's a big part of my life. Tournaments have paid for my last two summers during uni instead of getting a job as well as funding holidays, meals out, presents etc. It's got to the point where I only play one night a week during term time and only ever on days when she is working but we still have arguments about it. I think she would only be happy if I quit altogether.

Its all about balance, I can fully understand when my Mrs gets irked by me sitting through a 16 hour MTT regardless of the payout at the end, mainly because she understands the amount of close calls there are before you win substantial money.

I have a wife and two kids, anymore I play for ~2 hours each evening, my mainstay game anymore is cash games, that way when the mrs wants a glass of wine, or one of the kids wakes, it literally costs me nothing to sit out from my tables. Occasionally I play some turbo MTT's but I dont play the big slogs anymore.

So yea, you can keep playing poker, just balance your life with it better .

I used to have this problem with my ex at first. I basically stopped playing because it wasn't worth the hassle and finally after she realised how much I enjoyed poker, she gave in but I didn't play a huge amount and as tenbob said, it's just about balance so I played a few hours a few times a week. Once I won a few tournaments and used the money for stuff outside poker, she was more than fine with me playing more, as long as I was winning. Shallow indeed. She even started playing herself after while, although this was short lived. I could never build a roll consistently as I'd have to withdraw just to keep her happy lol.

Long story short, we split up over a year ago, (not because of poker) and now I can play when I want, withdraw when I want and finally build my bankroll.


All that said, I'd of never put poker before my girlfriend and if she has offered you an ultimatum, given poker is not your income you will just have to accept it because it is unreasonable to say you're going to grind a ton during Christmas but just as a hobby playing a couple times week for a few hours, I'm sure she will be ok with that.

BelgoSuisse said:

OP, stop playing tournaments and move to cash instead. That way you can always stop nearly instantly when your gf needs attention.

Also, if you're off work at the moment, play during the day and spend the evenings with her.

If you can't do this, i fully sympathise with your gf and wish her well in her quest for a better man.

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^^
This made me laugh...

your prob right though, not many people in relationships can get away with 5 hour mtts in the house.

playing cash might be the way forward then, ill attempt to find a balance

All that said, I'd of never put poker before my girlfriend and if she has offered you an ultimatum, given poker is not your income you will just have to accept it because it is unreasonable to say you're going to grind a ton during Christmas but just as a hobby playing a couple times week for a few hours, I'm sure she will be ok with that.[/QUOTE]

I agree,
There are still some positives to be taken, I know for future reference its probably inevitable that a big cash will come via 888 given the difference in standard from other sites,

and can spend more time improving

I had this eposides in my life all the time...She really hated anything that took me away from her...
I used to give her lot of special momenst, but she wanted me at all time...
But man, i love many other things in my life than any single thing....and poker is very much one of my favorite thing...
All i did was patiently listening her warnings and scouldings, etc...(practicing patience and keeping myself cool really helped me play poker better...lol !!!)
Slowly she got tired of it and started letting me have my personal time !!!

You have to make a decision which do you want more, obviously a relationship is more important than poker! but hats up to you decide i dont know your situation