I'm Being Stalked

xOneCoolHandx · Mar 13, 2023

About two years ago I wrote a breakup letter to my longtime companion Vicki Variance. It did not go over well and she has been stalking me everywhere I go. ACR, Ignition, BOL, SportsBetting, live games at Hollywood here in St. Louis and even all the way out to Vegas. She shows up everywhere I go, taunting me. Her brother, Bad Beat Billy, tags along with her and together they make a duo that rivals the Rock and Sock combination. I need some advice on how to deal with this game wrecking harlot and her unibrowed brother (the most comedic answer wins.) PSA: This post is meant to be humorous and not aimed to offend anyone, stalking is a serious crime -- yada yada yada -- so please don't take the post seriously like some did when I wrote the breakup letter.

Tero · Mar 13, 2023

I think the answer is simple. You need to start hanging out with with Lucky Luke, and make sure that Billy and Vicky understand that if they mess with you they mess with him.

perrywh · Mar 13, 2023

Get one on one with villain in position and out play him! Don’t play the cards and see how good you are!

Quaresma · Mar 13, 2023

Poker tables are not for the weak. Lightning may not strike twice in the same place but the bad's and the damned variance are always present in the daily life of a poker player. Imagine an action movie villain who will never be defeated. That's more or less what you'll get when you face your ex-wife and brother without eyebrows. It wasn't funny but it's real.

I Live Poker · Mar 13, 2023

xOneCoolHandx said:
About two years ago I wrote a breakup letter to my longtime companion Vicki Variance. It did not go over well and she has been stalking me everywhere I go. ACR, Ignition, BOL, SportsBetting, live games at Hollywood here in St. Louis and even all the way out to Vegas. She shows up everywhere I go, taunting me. Her brother, Bad Beat Billy, tags along with her and together they make a duo that rivals the Rock and Sock combination. I need some advice on how to deal with this game wrecking harlot and her unibrowed brother (the most comedic answer wins.) PSA: This post is meant to be humorous and not aimed to offend anyone, stalking is a serious crime -- yada yada yada -- so please don't take the post seriously like some did when I wrote the breakup letter.

The big question is, did you get Vicki Variance pregnant?

Joe · Mar 13, 2023

xOneCoolHandx said:
About two years ago I wrote a breakup letter to my longtime companion Vicki Variance. It did not go over well and she has been stalking me everywhere I go. ACR, Ignition, BOL, SportsBetting, live games at Hollywood here in St. Louis and even all the way out to Vegas. She shows up everywhere I go, taunting me. Her brother, Bad Beat Billy, tags along with her and together they make a duo that rivals the Rock and Sock combination. I need some advice on how to deal with this game wrecking harlot and her unibrowed brother (the most comedic answer wins.) PSA: This post is meant to be humorous and not aimed to offend anyone, stalking is a serious crime -- yada yada yada -- so please don't take the post seriously like some did when I wrote the breakup letter.

You have to out-crazy them.

Stalk the stalkers...

Andyreas · Mar 13, 2023

I was reading along and it only hit me when you introduced Bad Beat Billy.

Great post!

Maybe you should just get a restraining order for both and things should get better quickly.

airxlns · Mar 13, 2023

Next time Vicki and Billy pay you a visit tell them you'll throw them Straight at the River because you have a Full House and if they don't leave you alone just Flush them away.

Mimo..Mach · Mar 14, 2023

You have to show her that you dumped her for someone worse than her like Lulu STUD or Bianca 2-7 Pot Limit. Spare no expense on dating them for a while and Vicky Variance will die of anger!

xOneCoolHandx · Mar 17, 2023

I Live Poker said:
The big question is, did you get Vicki Variance pregnant?

Sadly enough, yes, not she has me for alimony and child support for the triplets

xOneCoolHandx · Mar 17, 2023

perrywh said:
Get one on one with villain in position and out play him! Don’t play the cards and see how good you are!

I do that on the regular...until they get there LOL

xOneCoolHandx · Mar 19, 2023

Mimo..Mach said:
You have to show her that you dumped her for someone worse than her like Lulu STUD or Bianca 2-7 Pot Limit. Spare no expense on dating them for a while and Vicky Variance will die of anger!

LMAO I first read that you had typed Lulu STD not Stud

Poker Orifice · Mar 20, 2023

Try playing Vicki from some new positions... who knows, maybe even 'out of position' will be good. The occasional suckout is cool. Don't let it upset you. (just don't tell your friends about it)

INISHTE · Apr 11, 2023

I suggest you go with you to Bad Beat Billy's house, we'll wait for him outside and when he comes out, we'll surprise him, wrap him in a rug and throw him into a ravine.

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I'm Being Stalked

xOneCoolHandx

Legend

Tero

Legend

perrywh

Common sense!

Quaresma

Enthusiast

I Live Poker

Legend

Joe

99.98% Kiln dried

Andyreas

Moderator

airxlns

Rock Star

Mimo..Mach

Rock Star

xOneCoolHandx

Legend

xOneCoolHandx

Legend

xOneCoolHandx

Legend

Poker Orifice

And Still...

INISHTE

Visionary

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