Poker Goals (For Other CCers!)

i think i mighta just had an orgasm

vanquish said:

i think i mighta just had an orgasm

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I will take it you like what I came up with.

vanquish said:

i think i mighta just had an orgasm

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bob_tiger said:

I will take it you like what I came up with.

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OMG, get a room.

Jack Daniels said:

OMG, get a room.

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sorry for the bad post JD but....ROFL

continues to not just crush the competition, but snort their ashes as some sort of sinister celebratory event

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lolol

eNTy said:

What about a "sweat session" ? giving you any mental images?

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Not realy,:hahaha: but very happy to provide you with some!

dakota-xx said:

Nick: Wins the lottery and invests his winnings wisely, eventually becoming the youngest person ever in the top 10 richest men. He then buys Google and fires the entire staff and fills the positions with his 50k members from his beloved Cardschat. As a Christmas bonus he pays all of their entries into the WSOP and for the first time in the history of the WSOP the final table consists of people who all work for the same company.

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Shortly after Nick abolishes national governments and becomes the most beloved and benevolent ruler of the world to have ever lived, war and famine are only things mentioned in history books.

vanquish said:

i think i mighta just had an orgasm

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There's a first time for everything, Congratulations Van! :icon_thum

hahahaha this is quality just read it this morning !!

very entertaining thread so far!

:hahaha:

vanquish's is simple - Get a kid

dakota-xx said:

Nick: Wins the lottery and invests his winnings wisely, eventually becoming the youngest person ever in the top 10 richest men. He then buys Google and fires the entire staff and fills the positions with his 50k members from his beloved Cardschat. As a Christmas bonus he pays all of their entries into the WSOP and for the first time in the history of the WSOP the final table consists of people who all work for the same company.

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I forgot to mention that once Cardschat ruled Google everytime anybody googles anything Cardschat comes up first!

They are uncertain who is responsible for this minor technicality but the prime suspects are owner Nick, CEO Dorkus Malorkus, CFO Irexes, President Jack Daniels, or VP's Juiceeq and Dakota -who reportedly run the company in the absence of the others. (which is 99% of the time)

well shannon elizabet is sexy! i must end up in the sack with her

I love it ,keepem coming.Now i have goals too

I'm an old fart my goal is to still be breathing in 2009.

after reading this and seeing that so many are enjoying it , I'm thinking the monkey is sharing the ice with everyone.
my goal is to never smoke it again and only smoke pot
should I fail , my goal will be to join in and do a goal thread for the remaining 40,000 members .
I kid I kid , have fun

adventurebound said:

Ok...You went way too far on Jagsti ! Winning someone elses wife and kids isn't a trophy, it's a punishment

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Very true AB, I have enough trouble with my own, why on God's earth would I want anyone elses .

Very, very good thread imo .

Holy crap jay. Yeah uh, ice as in ICE hockey not ICE as in illicit drugs. I officially am against drug abuse. Vote icemonkey9 this election year. Although I think pot has a less negative effect on people than alcohol. Just drink Yoohoo that always does it for me.

ANYWAYS ... yeah sure I can do more of these, I just need requests

jaymfc said:

I kid I kid , have fun

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icemonkey9 said:

Holy crap jay. Yeah uh, ice as in ICE hockey not ICE as in illicit drugs. I officially am against drug abuse. Vote icemonkey9 this election year. Although I think pot has a less negative effect on people than alcohol. Just drink Yoohoo that always does it for me.

ANYWAYS ... yeah sure I can do more of these, I just need requests

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I don't really smoke that crap , although I've done most drugs I've never really even seen ice and haven't done anything but smoke pot in many years . alcohol is definitely worse than pot and way up there on the negative effect list , although I do like a little quervo gold with a Dr pepper chaser
OK then do mine but don't forget my vote is on the line

I need goals to keep me motivated...imo.

alcohol is awsum lawl amirite amirite

juiceeQ said:

I need goals to keep me motivated...imo.

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Win enough to open a pancake shop ?

Great thread! I NEED GOALS ALSO!

From the request queue:

JayMFC: On a whim, Jay takes a vacation to sunny San Diego, CA and takes in the sights and sounds, from Sea World, to Tiajuana. On a chance occurance he meets up with a few CC players at Pechanga, the same casino that Jerry Yang used to satiellite into the main event. Sure enough, Mr Yang is representing his home turf at the 200/500 nl game. Having just won a huge settlement against the Piggily Wiggily Corporation, he sits down at this monster table. After eliminating all the others from the table, the cash game turns into a high stakes heads up showdown. After a grueling 31 straight hours of play, Jay takes away over 6.2 million from Yang. When asked what is he going to do with all that money, Jay simply replies with a smile, "Two chicks at the same time man."

JuiceeQ: While surfing the internet, she finds a network promotion to be an actual live player at the NBC Poker Heads Up Championship, and wins the promotion. While there she eliminates, in order, the following to get to the championship round: Brad Garret, Eli Ezra, Tom McEvoy, and Phil Hellmuth. Finally in the championship round, she faces off against Jamie "Evil" Gold, who proceeds to never close his mouth. JuiceeQ not only wins the championship and millions that go with it, but her huge stomping of Gold sets the way for huge endorsement contracts with Loreal, Nike, bluff Magazine, and Mrs Pauls Fish Sticks (thanks to a lead in with the company from WVHillBilly). She also uses her celebrity for charity work to fight for pet's rights casuses in developing countries.

KennySeven: For years he will toil with online poker and build up a modest bankroll. Finally, after two years and hundres-of-thousands of hands, he will find himself winning the UltimateBet bad beat jackpot of $180,000. He prompty withdrawls all the money from Ultimatebet and starts playing at Pokerstars. Eventually he gets recuited into Issac Haxton's poker cult, changes his name to "Party Dude" and becomes the first entrant into the wsop Main Event wearing only a toga. Drinking heavily at the table and wildly winning pots, he declares himself (at the ESPN featured table no less) to be the "Undisputed EMPEROR of poker!" and commanded the bar waitress to feed him grapes. She complies. Kenny spends the rest of the event self indulging his emperor-like vices, while finishing a respectable 28th. After the main event, he disappears to his own private island.

well you got my vote icemonkey but with 6.2 million I will want more than just two girls at one time .
although old fat ugly and broke , I lived with the fresh out of high school crowd for a few years and 95% of the girls were BI , throw in the quervo gold and some zannies and you have many 3,4 and 5somes .

with 6.2 million I'll want to top that

jaymfc said:

although old fat ugly and broke , I lived with the fresh out of high school crowd for a few years and 95% of the girls were BI , throw in the quervo gold and some zannies and you have many 3,4 and 5somes .

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Pics???

*Feel free to crop yourself out.

jaymfc said:

although old fat ugly and broke , I lived with the fresh out of high school crowd for a few years and 95% of the girls were BI , throw in the quervo gold and some zannies and you have many 3,4 and 5somes .

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95% of the girls were buy-ins?