Funny poker quotes you've heard

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Dzob

Dzob

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My favorite quotes 🙂 :

1“If you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.” - Mike McDermott, Rounders



“Omaha is a game that was invented by a Sadist and is played by Masochists.” ~ Shane Smith

And what you've heard about ?
 
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If my daddy saw me losing to these joker's he'd climb out of hid grave and beat me to death! ~ Doyle Brunson
 
Funny poker quotes you've heard
I do not remember whom it was said, and the literal text I don't remember but I really liked it. ""If the fish got to draw from that you will be betting nothing has changed fish will still donked at the river and try to catch runner runner.
 
Funny quotes I do not know. I know only one serious quote :
“Poker is a skill game pretending to be a chance game.” James Altucher.
 
"Aces and 8s are great in the States, but they aren't worth a darn in Buchans." .

A quote from one of my old poker buddies when we use dto play Friday nights
 
Lucky players, it dares everything, and that's even what we recognize them.
With them, even the rooster lay!
 
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- What is the difference between God and Phil Hellmuth?

- God does not think he is Phil Hellmuth.
 
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“One thing even a poker face cannot hide is love.”
Tapan Ghosh
 
Not poker but cards in general... You're stranded on a deserted island all you have is a deck of cards and case of beer how do you get off the island?
 
If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.--- Paul Newman
 
I will not write a quote, but I will attach a funny picture. Kim Kardashian playing poker with mirror glasses
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The whole doyle monologue at the beginning of poker after dark. It's so cheesy and it cracks me up every time.
 
For me it is very funny the word is "Never", it fits a lot in poker and it turns out very funny, try to put the word "never" in many situations and it is the most famous in Poker,a joke of course and it would be fun
 
eniseysmail said:
I will not write a quote, but I will attach a funny picture. Kim Kardashian playing poker with mirror glasses
Click to expand...
Huahauahauauahauua
 
- What is the difference between a large pizza and a player on the NL2?

- A large pizza can feed a family.
 
Some of these are pretty funny!

Thanks everyone for sharing the jokes and Keep them coming :driver:

Just don't be bluffing 😉
 
movie quotes

I will tell you. You need to make the wrong decisions at the right time. Edward Jay Robinson in the film Cincinnati Kid (1965) Sometimes “nothing” is a very cool card. Paul Newman in the film "Cold-blooded Manhole" Won money is twice as good as earned! Paul Newman in the film "The Color of Money" How did I do it? Well, I just imagined playing with other people's money. Jodie Foster in the movie "Maverick":lollypop::lollypop::lollypop:
 
In the short term poker is all about luck, in the long term it is all about skill.
 
"If you are afraid to bet off your future kids college tuition , well then you probably should stick leaning on the rail, big wins dont come from cheap pockets "..........

Credits to a super southern drunk I was at a table with when I was playing at the Seminole hardrock in Florida. Truest slurred words ever
 
A good player online tournaments for five minutes break time to go to the bathroom, to smoke, to plant a tree, check the blog and son ponyt of bad luck on the forum.
 
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