The Funny Things Bad Players Say

Four Dogs · Jun 15, 2013

I heard this last night and it was all I could do to keep from falling off my chair in laughter. This annoying older guy to my right has been yacking in my ear for hours. I had been friendly with him but he was really very unlikable.

A hand came down that he had limped into and I had folded. The flop came out something like

and someone made a pot sized bet. He grunted a little, mucked his cards and made a comment about how he never hits his flops. Anyway, the bet was called and the turn was

. "Sonovabitch" he whispers in my ear. "I folded

, if that turn card was the

instead of the

I'd have a flush draw now."

snklzona · Jun 15, 2013

Wow that one would have been tough to not laugh at...has to be one of the most ignorant poker comments I have heard of coming from money player...

Four Dogs · Jun 15, 2013

Same player, his name was Carl.
"I play Zinga on Facebook, I'm really good. I built my play chips up to 10 million. I logged on the other day and like half of it was gone. I know they cheated me!"

A9ofHearts · Jun 15, 2013

lol that is seriously funny

mongol · Jun 30, 2013

Flop 4 9 J...2 hearts...I have A 8 hearts...I bang it all-in. Get called by a lady. Turn, River brick. Showdown...she wins Ace high with Q kicker...she had suited A Q spades...I am dumbstruck...why did you call? "I won a hand with AQ suited a few hands ago, so I felt lucky!!" had I just not lost my stack, I would have laughed out...

Four Dogs · Jun 30, 2013

mongol said:
Flop 4 9 J...2 hearts...I have A 8 hearts...I bang it all-in. Get called by a lady. Turn, River brick. Showdown...she wins Ace high with Q kicker...she had suited A Q spades...I am dumbstruck...why did you call? "I won a hand with AQ suited a few hands ago, so I felt lucky!!" had I just not lost my stack, I would have laughed out...

Lol. We can't be too critical. These are not stupid people (Ok, Carl was pretty stupid) and to her this made perfect sense. For the most part these are wonderful folks that get along in life quite well, but throw them into the water and they do what comes natural to anyone who can't swim, they flail about helplessly because that's all they know. Every bad player has a reason for what they do but I'm beginning to realize that trying to tease out the logic behind that reasoning is a massive waste of time.

imafish · Jun 30, 2013

Now that's a guy you gotta make sure to keep coming back!

Aces2w1n · Jun 30, 2013

I was playing against an old Italian guy, he hits 2 pair on the flop and I hit a set... He was a very caution player so I had to disguise my strength somewhat so I did. Got him all in. We both turn it over and he stands up and points at me THIS DOESNT HAPPEN TO ME NOT BY YOU!.

Then a couple weeks later I saw him again on the same table lol I disguised my early made flush on the table and got him again lol... he was quiet that time though

so I said are you sure it doesn't happen to you?

ph0n3_j4ck · Jun 30, 2013

I would just agree with him and want him to make the call. I'd be targeting that guy all night because hes an easy target. Those are the kinds of guys that make you profit. If it weren't for those people, I'd be poor.

midgetfactory · Jul 4, 2013

love to be playing up against this guy, but anyways no need to laugh, som e people dont take it as serious as others, so respect all players

cotta777 · Jul 4, 2013

Lolll!
i love the zynga boppers, they often venture to a casino after a month of zynga

I played a cash game last friday this hand... I had KJ we were 2 way into the pot and he had called my raise with 9-5 off

I flop a king flop is i think 10-K-3 .. I Raise get called, turn comes a 9, he now raises
I call, river comes a 5... he checks, so I bet half pot...

and he calls me 2 pair,

I just looked at him - and he's like I knew you had something with a smug look on his face as if he had just outplayed me,
then he starts going on about how hes killing the table and gloating about his hand reading.
If he knew I had something hes calling with 9 high? and then turns 3rd top pair and raises? seriously...

I just felt like giving a long list of criticism but didnt bother

NateVest · Jul 4, 2013

I enjoyed the read here, it can be quite frustrating playing newer players to the game. You always have to think, players all have to start somewhere. I try to overlook bad plays and try not to focus on anything I cannot control. It ends up being a distraction, especially when you should be worried about what you can control in the game vs how your opponent is playing their hands so later in the game you can use the reads to break your opponent down vs feeding into them.

Aleksei · Jul 4, 2013

cotta777 said:
I just felt like giving a long list of criticism but didnt bother

Just lol and move on. You WANT him to think he's got you; the only reason betting top pair is profitable is because people will call you down with worse and think they're playing well.

Stretch84 · Jul 4, 2013

THIS DOESNT HAPPEN TO ME NOT BY YOU! MAN THAT WAS SO FUNNY! Something like that happen to me before so as i was reading your post I got an instant view of how it went down.

LuckyBundy13 · Jul 5, 2013

"There's no way I could have folded that, I had to call" classic~

A2345Razz · Jul 5, 2013

Can I quote from CC's post bustout posting...

Something like this from a guy who has played 10/6 for 130 hands, made no effort to make moves, provided no resistance in his blinds...:

OMG, got so unlucky...got short bc I was card dead(to him this probably means no aces or Kings in 100 hands) and shoved AQ. Was WAY AHEAD when BB snapped me off with KJ but took a BAD BEAT when the board ended up J hi.

Lol, bad players aren't always loose passive in 2013 gentleman....look at yourselves in the mirror and ask yourself if this is you.

buster999 · Jul 5, 2013

when they say make sure you bring lots of money next time.

MK8 · Jul 8, 2013

I open raised JJ at 1/2 playing live. A guy with about $140 stack says "Alright, take my money I need to get out of here. It folds back to me and i'm sitting there thinking he's angling me so I'm debating a fold. I'm too much of a donk so i end up calling and he flips over 74o and i hold. He then says gg and casually gets up from the table and leaves. I was dumbfounded as to why he didn't just cash out his chips.

spsb83 · Jul 12, 2013

By the sounds of it I need start playing live, I just can't imagine people sitting down with like £200 in front of them and being that bad.

sryImPro · Jul 12, 2013

lol

in online poker bad players usualy say something about other players moms and the rest of their family

domeburglar · Jul 12, 2013

I never ever will make fun of poor play or someone making obvious mistakes that just seem rediculous to me.. These are the people that make my stack grow the last thing i want is to embarrass them or make them think twice next time they want to make a crazy move.. Anything they say i smile and go along with it..
I never understand people that try to teach opponents better plays at the table lol

xlmnx · Jul 12, 2013

I will always chuckle at others demise and misfortune as long as they deserve it. Justice is always served best fresh. Tournament play is also different from cash game!

xXShannonAXx · Jul 13, 2013

funniest thing i ever heard was when i first started playing at local clubs someone said they had me beat because they had 3 pair and he was like nah i been playing for longer then u there is 3 pair i had a wtf look on my face that day tourney director had to explain it to him

hypknautiqah · Jul 15, 2013

just being called a donk because you slow play the nuts after the flop is the best compliment one can make. good thread some funny stuff.

Jblocher1 · Jul 15, 2013

I have a family friend who justifies him sucking out by saying "does it matter how I got there? I knew I had the best hand." Meanwhile he's calling down the turn with queen high and rivering a king lol

The Funny Things Bad Players Say

Four Dogs

Legend

snklzona

Rock Star

Four Dogs

Legend

A9ofHearts

Visionary

mongol

Rising Star

Four Dogs

Legend

imafish

Rock Star

Aces2w1n

Legend

ph0n3_j4ck

Rock Star

midgetfactory

Visionary

cotta777

Visionary

NateVest

Visionary

Aleksei

Legend

Stretch84

Enthusiast

LuckyBundy13

Visionary

A2345Razz

Legend

buster999

Rock Star

MK8

Enthusiast

spsb83

Rock Star

sryImPro

Legend

domeburglar

Visionary

xlmnx

Enthusiast

xXShannonAXx

Rock Star

hypknautiqah

Rising Star

Jblocher1

Legend

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