The Funny Things Bad Players Say

Four Dogs · Dec 11, 2015

Sneaky Feet said:
Not sure if this is good or bad but was playing a live free tournament. There was myself and villain (who happened to be my girlfriend) in the pot. I 3-barrel bluffed a straight and was all in. As villain starts to slide her cards in, one of the other guys at the table yells "he's bluffing!" She pulls her cards back and flips over 2 pair to take the pot and knock me out.

I seriously could have strangled the guy! Happily enough though she ended up busting him out and winning the tournament but I was pissed for days. Lol

Vilain was your girlfriend? lol. But seriously how bad could that have really been.

IPlay · Dec 17, 2015

I had a guy in a mid level SNG raise me preflop out of position the other day. Had a feeling it was BS. I call with J3s. I mean the BB is 20 and he raises 200. I feel it's a donk over playing AJ so I call it.
Flop comes 6/3/Q. Could have been wrong. He could have been holding AQ, but I had a feeling he was holding AJ. So he checks, I check. Turn rag, River rag.
He pushes all but 100 of his 1500 chips...
I hit my timer button. How confident am I he's hold AJ?
I call. He shows AJo beaten by my J3s...

I don't consider what I did a good play, but it's just so often that these new SNG players overplay AJ I had him pegged to it.

Sorry for the rambling. This post just reminded me of that hand.

Poker Orifice · Dec 17, 2015

IPlay said:
I had a guy in a mid level SNG raise me preflop out of position the other day. Had a feeling it was BS. I call with J3s. I mean the BB is 20 and he raises 200. I feel it's a donk over playing AJ so I call it.
Flop comes 6/3/Q. Could have been wrong. He could have been holding AQ, but I had a feeling he was holding AJ. So he checks, I check. Turn rag, River rag.
He pushes all but 100 of his 1500 chips...
I hit my timer button. How confident am I he's hold AJ?
I call. He shows AJo beaten by my J3s...

I don't consider what I did a good play, but it's just so often that these new SNG players overplay AJ I had him pegged to it.

HA HA HA yah this ^ certainly qualifies for OP's thread title

monoskyx · Dec 18, 2015

Fish when they lose

Goldog · Dec 18, 2015

Its the "good" players that crack me up the most. Making "good folds" and telling me "nice straight, flush" or whatever his big fear was. Half the time "air" would have been more accurate. Criticizing all my good "luck" I even saw a "this site sucks!" Really , I got nothing!...

Four Dogs · Dec 20, 2015

IPlay said:
I had a guy in a mid level SNG raise me preflop out of position the other day. Had a feeling it was BS. I call with J3s. I mean the BB is 20 and he raises 200. I feel it's a donk over playing AJ so I call it.
Flop comes 6/3/Q. Could have been wrong. He could have been holding AQ, but I had a feeling he was holding AJ. So he checks, I check. Turn rag, River rag.
He pushes all but 100 of his 1500 chips...
I hit my timer button. How confident am I he's hold AJ?
I call. He shows AJo beaten by my J3s...

I don't consider what I did a good play, but it's just so often that these new SNG players overplay AJ I had him pegged to it.

Sorry for the rambling. This post just reminded me of that hand.

Poker Orifice said:
HA HA HA yah this ^ certainly qualifies for OP's thread title

Seriously!

Nice read, I guess? IPlay, I don't want to turn this into a hand analysis thread but you might get some interesting comments if you posted this in THA

IPlay · Dec 20, 2015

That was copy and pasted from another forum, not me

Four Dogs · Dec 21, 2015

IPlay said:
That was copy and pasted from another forum, not me

I am so glad to hear that:top:

kimcayson · Dec 21, 2015

Four Dogs said:
Same player, his name was Carl.
"I play Zinga on Facebook, I'm really good. I built my play chips up to 10 million. I logged on the other day and like half of it was gone. I know they cheated me!"

Now this one was the BEST one ever lmao!! aybe I was wrong about trying to appear dumb this guy couldnt help it lol I love it!!

kimcayson · Dec 21, 2015

I hope I did the quote thing right I a still trying to figure this posting thing out. sorry if I messed it up but it was dunny anyway

kimcayson · Dec 21, 2015

The guys I like best are THE POKER POLICE they always are fussing or usuallt cussing every other player at the table for any call or play they make no matter whether its good or bad anf they are ALWAYS the first one out of the game! but there is usually one at every table sooner or later and I cant help but laugh at them

kimcayson · Dec 21, 2015

isnt it wierd how you can remember the biggest pot you ever lost but you can never remmmmember the the good ones!! well you can but you rarely do lol

MAdesG · Dec 21, 2015

We have to respect all players but sometimes they get angry when we won , and then they start to talk and say funny things LOL , for example i won a hand with 5-7 vs AK , flop 5 7 A turn K river 5 and then he get angry and he say that i am an idiot Hahahah LOL

De Burgermeester · Dec 31, 2015

I got a funny story. This happened to me a couple weeks ago and is actually the reason how I found cardschat.

I was playing limit holdem on pokerstars. I had some good hands and raised a couple times pre-flop. Then one of the others players at the table said that I shouldn't raise pre-flop because "it sucked" and "if I wanted to play for more money I should move to a higher stakes table".

The next hand I raise again pre-flop and players began calling me a child for doing something nobody at the table liked. Somebody said everybody should sit out to force me to move to another table and 4-5 players were actually sitting out until I left. One of the players said he wished pokerstars made tables where pre-flop raising wasn't possible. I guess they just wanted to gamble and not really play poker.

I didn't know much about poker strategy and online etiquette so I thought I did something wrong. I searched the internet and found cardschat and other poker strategy websites which in the end made me a better player. So I guess I should be thankful to the fish.

But at that moment it was a really weird experience.

freestocks · Jan 1, 2016

He had AQ I had AJ we were all in by the turn. He took the pot and tried to hug me nervously saying ooo thought you had me with AK. I wanted to kill him for touching me.

arjunkrishnan · Jan 4, 2016

I was playing NL Holdem at a card room and was on the button and raised 4BB with one limper holding AA. SB and BB fold and limper calls. Flop was A 2 10 rainbow, villain bets 1/2 pot I re-raise and he shoves. I call he shows me 89off, as you can guess he hits runner runner straight.

I was kinda steaming with his pre flop call and his post flop shove.

He says "with 89 you're almost always guaranteed to hit a straight"

This was villain's second hand of the night, I immediately reloaded and cleared him out by the end of the night.

jigglypuff99 · Jan 4, 2016

This thread is great lolol. I always love when someone goes on a rant about how unlucky they are/lucky you are when you win a 49%/51% flip

Four Dogs · May 21, 2016

The poker business has been suffering a downturn recently and in an attempt to drum up some business Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut has recently instituted a High Hand Jackpot on the weekends. As far as I can tell it's working. Here's an example from a 1/2 table last weekend.

There's a raise in early position, several callers and a meathead in the SB who I've played with several times also calls. The flop is something like

(The exact cards aren't important, this isn't a strategy hand). Meathead checks, there's a short stack all-in for like $60, Fold, Fold and Meathead calls.
The turn and the river are bricks and shorty takes the pot with something like KTo. The meathead in the SB slams his

down on the table for everyone to see and says... " I never win that high hand jackpot! I Missed the damned on the Turn AND River. WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?"

LOL. About 96% my friend.
I've never been a big fan of poker room promo's but I think I'm starting to warm to them.:eating:

Four Dogs · Dec 20, 2016

$300 R-Entry at Foxwoods a while back. Limped pot, flop comes something like

. Crusty old guy in SB Checks. MP Bets. Button Folds.
Old guy thinks for a few seconds and with an air of wisdom that only comes with untold years of experience, mucks his cards.

"I never chase Clubs. They never come."

Senneville · Dec 20, 2016

Yesterday night at my local area. I'm in cutoff in limp pot I raise 3bb avery body fold except utg 4. A old guy with a hat like a gabler maniac. Why? because in the last 20 min of play he rebuys 3 times. And the flop came Ah- 7s - 10h

I have A-10off he bet half pot I raise he go all in I call. The old men had 5-7 h

The turn is Jc and the river 3h.

The guy told me you pay for the other who cross my road. lolllllll

And at this time I read him so well the rest of the night night..

I Limp AA in BB and punish so bad and say dont cross the railroad my me my friend lollllllll

Odysseus101 · Dec 20, 2016

Should we assume that some of the talkers online who appear to be morons are trying to convince the others at the table of that? I consider that a little underhanded, but I can't really blame anyone who tries it.

As a bad player myself, I like to say "I rule" when I win a tiny pot, like when seeing the blind and everyone else folds except for the BB who checks. Then we both check to the river and again, both our hands suck and we know it. Then if I win with J high or something I say "I rule". And if I lose that I say "I suck". I get interesting reactions.

Mezerhane · Dec 21, 2016

has to be one of the most ignorant poker comments I have heard of coming from money player

terryk · Dec 22, 2016

I love bad players,,the more at my table the better i say,,he he

but i get the whole why help other players with their play,,,when they can maybe use that against you in the future,lol,,,hardly,maybe,,,but im confident enough in my game,that would`t happen,,,i don`t help everyone,jus the people i like

Poker Orifice · Dec 24, 2016

Four Dogs said:
The poker business has been suffering a downturn recently and in an attempt to drum up some business Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut has recently instituted a High Hand Jackpot on the weekends. As far as I can tell it's working. Here's an example from a 1/2 table last weekend.

There's a raise in early position, several callers and a meathead in the SB who I've played with several times also calls. The flop is something like (The exact cards aren't important, this isn't a strategy hand). Meathead checks, there's a short stack all-in for like $60, Fold, Fold and Meathead calls.
The turn and the river are bricks and shorty takes the pot with something like KTo. The meathead in the SB slams his down on the table for everyone to see and says... " I never win that high hand jackpot! I Missed the damned on the Turn AND River. WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?"

LOL. About 96% my friend.
I've never been a big fan of poker room promo's but I think I'm starting to warm to them.:eating:

Four Dogs said:
$300 R-Entry at Foxwoods a while back. Limped pot, flop comes something like . Crusty old guy in SB Checks. MP Bets. Button Folds.
Old guy thinks for a few seconds and with an air of wisdom that only comes with untold years of experience, mucks his cards.

"I never chase Clubs. They never come."

ha ha ha Love it!

Dorugremon · Dec 24, 2016

mongol said:
Flop 4 9 J...2 hearts...I have A 8 hearts...I bang it all-in. Get called by a lady. Turn, River brick. Showdown...she wins Ace high with Q kicker...she had suited A Q spades...I am dumbstruck...why did you call? "I won a hand with AQ suited a few hands ago, so I felt lucky!!" had I just not lost my stack, I would have laughed out...

I know it's a late reply, but I saw another one here.

I wouldn't be so sure about that lady and what she said. I might've made that call myself. The play looks bluffy as hell, and unless made by a total nit, it's not such a hard call. The lady has overcard equity if she's against any pair on that bone dry board. Unless she's against an (AK) or a set, she's in the lead against any (Axhh) and the flush draw will miss more often than it'll hit.

It's a very common error that I see all the time: some fish bangs it all-in with a flush draw. At least this time the hero did it with a NFD. I've seen fish do this with draws as weak as (23-ss).

".I am dumbstruck...why did you call? 'I won a hand with AQ suited a few hands ago, so I felt lucky!!'"

What the hell did you expect her to say? "I read you for a weak ace-suited and knew you were FoS, so I made a value call because I had enough equity"? Really?

The Funny Things Bad Players Say

Four Dogs

Legend

IPlay

Bum hunts 25NL

Poker Orifice

And Still...

monoskyx

Enthusiast

Goldog

Rock Star

Four Dogs

Legend

IPlay

Bum hunts 25NL

Four Dogs

Legend

kimcayson

Rising Star

kimcayson

Rising Star

kimcayson

Rising Star

kimcayson

Rising Star

MAdesG

Rock Star

De Burgermeester

Rising Star

freestocks

Legend

arjunkrishnan

Rising Star

jigglypuff99

Rock Star

Four Dogs

Legend

Four Dogs

Legend

Senneville

Visionary

Odysseus101

Rock Star

Mezerhane

Rising Star

terryk

TheCanuckwithalltheluck

Poker Orifice

And Still...

Dorugremon

Rock Star

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