Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up.
Roberts looks around and asks, 'Now, who is going to tell the wife?'
They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one.
They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is.
'Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me.'
Rippington walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants.
Rippington says, 'Your husband just lost $500 playing cards.'
She hollers, 'TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!'
Rippington says, 'I'll tell him.'
Roberts looks around and asks, 'Now, who is going to tell the wife?'
They draw straws. Rippington, who is always a loser, picks the short one.
They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse than it is.
'Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet man you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me.'
Rippington walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, asks what he wants.
Rippington says, 'Your husband just lost $500 playing cards.'
She hollers, 'TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!'
Rippington says, 'I'll tell him.'
Leaving the poker party late, as usual, Tom turned to his friend, Jack. "I can never fool my wife when I return from poker." Tom complained. "I turn off the car"s engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone." "You got the wrong technique my friend." his buddy Jack replied. "When I return from poker I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on her ass and say "How about a little? - She always pretends to be asleep."
Communicate two fish at the poker table at the autopsy after the river:
1) I thought you won't open me.
2) How so? I'm professional.
1) I'm a professional too, actually.
2) Well, show me what you got?
1) I have 72, and have you that?
2) I have, too, 72
1) Oh my God, we with you two pros
Negreanu on the sidelines smiling, throws both from the tournament.
1) How did we lose?
2) it's not fair, it's the ROM to blame.
PS Learn to play poker, that would not be fish.
1) I thought you won't open me.
2) How so? I'm professional.
1) I'm a professional too, actually.
2) Well, show me what you got?
1) I have 72, and have you that?
2) I have, too, 72
1) Oh my God, we with you two pros
Negreanu on the sidelines smiling, throws both from the tournament.
1) How did we lose?
2) it's not fair, it's the ROM to blame.
PS Learn to play poker, that would not be fish.
- These are, in short, the rules and combinations of cards when playing poker ...
- Well, well, I sort of understood! But! Let's say I have TWO SINGLE ACES! What then ??? !!!
- The rules also provide for this case: they take you out of the casino to your hands, beat them hard, and never let them go there again, for it is too lucky ...:bandit::icon_boun
- Well, well, I sort of understood! But! Let's say I have TWO SINGLE ACES! What then ??? !!!
- The rules also provide for this case: they take you out of the casino to your hands, beat them hard, and never let them go there again, for it is too lucky ...:bandit::icon_boun
that's what i understand the master bluff[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106] [emoji106]Bambini7777 said:
VIP_TARIFF said:
Great man! this is really a masterpiece of speech... the greatest wisdom of poker is expressed in this .... and you said it in such a great formulation.. everybody must understand this wisdom and I really do believe that there are MANY people who really NEED to be explained this simple principle of logical comprehension of poker's most basic characteristic which makes it unique and exceptional phenomenon among the uncountable different kinds of card and other types of games that involve gambling or just some strategic competitive play for two or more human player opponents.
I believe this idea is the most important thing, which differentiates real poker players from the ones who simply can not achieve any real poker player's skills and abilities. Person who in his understanding of matters considers "luck" to be an important factor and some objective reason shaping results of his poker game success, is in fact blind to the real principles which control whole poker game outcome. also they allow themselves to be clouded by some emotional responses based on their perception of how luck is the driving force of their success or failing in game. They can easily get distracted or even be motivated by false conclusions that e.g. "I must stop playing now because today I have no luck at all" or "I am lucky in this game so I am going to risk more, play more hands which are not as strong as logically evaluated hands would need to be in order to pursue further play".... and this way the player quickly loses every last bit of rational sense and lets his game decisions be directed solely by some imaginary concepts of nonexistent forces (luck) favoring them personally and this way giving him advantage over other competitors.
Dog playing poker
A guy walks into a bar and comes across three men playing poker with a dog. Curious, he approaches the table and asks,
"But ... does the dog really recognize the letters?"
"Yes," one of the men answers.
Amazed, says:
- Wow ... Fantastic! And does he play well?
And another one of the players replies:
- Not really. Whenever you get a game, you start wagging your tail.😀
A guy walks into a bar and comes across three men playing poker with a dog. Curious, he approaches the table and asks,
"But ... does the dog really recognize the letters?"
"Yes," one of the men answers.
Amazed, says:
- Wow ... Fantastic! And does he play well?
And another one of the players replies:
- Not really. Whenever you get a game, you start wagging your tail.😀
Religious play cards
A rabbi, a pastor, and a priest were playing Poker when the police raid. The police chief goes to the priest and asks:
"Father Murphy, were you playing?"
Turning his eyes to the sky, the priest says softly:
"Lord forgive me for what I am about to do.
Then he turns to the police and says,
"No, sir, I was not playing."
The policeman, trusting the priest's word, believed what he said. Then he asks the pastor:
"Pastor Johnson, were you playing?"
Again, after looking at the sky, the pastor responds:
"No, sir, I was not playing."
The police did not doubt what the pastor said. Turning to the rabbi, the police asked again:
"Rabbi Goldstein, were you playing?"
Shrugging, the Rabbi replies,
- With whom?:evil:
A rabbi, a pastor, and a priest were playing Poker when the police raid. The police chief goes to the priest and asks:
"Father Murphy, were you playing?"
Turning his eyes to the sky, the priest says softly:
"Lord forgive me for what I am about to do.
Then he turns to the police and says,
"No, sir, I was not playing."
The policeman, trusting the priest's word, believed what he said. Then he asks the pastor:
"Pastor Johnson, were you playing?"
Again, after looking at the sky, the pastor responds:
"No, sir, I was not playing."
The police did not doubt what the pastor said. Turning to the rabbi, the police asked again:
"Rabbi Goldstein, were you playing?"
Shrugging, the Rabbi replies,
- With whom?:evil: