Spouse upset of you playing poker?

nl_incognito · Oct 30, 2013

Do any of you have a spouse who hates when you play poker? If so, how do you handle it? My wife hates when I play. I get off work an hour earlier than her, so that's really the only time I have to play. If I do play while she is home, she just runs her mouth and it tilts me so hard. I just recently lost $2,000 and she was more happy than upset. Even when I withdrawal money, she continues to say it's not real money. Any of you guys deal or had to deal with this? How can I resolve this?

lost2qandisa · Oct 30, 2013

Yep mine hates it too. I explained it to her that I do not put my money in and any "real" money comes from freerolls. I play for fun. Maybe it is something deeper for you. Do you spend time with her? Maybe it is not about poker at all! Maybe she feels you are spending time on the computer and not with her?

joshuawacaster · Oct 30, 2013

Poker an easily addictive sport and time goes much faster for the person playing.
So watching someone play poker is probably somewhat frustrating. The amount of money spent probably has something to do with it.

michael demichele · Oct 31, 2013

I think it's all based on the person you're with. I've been with chicks who think it's awesome and others who think it's lame.

Lots of guys have similar hobbies like watching or playing sports, video games, fantasy football. And some women can't stand these things. Others are more into it than the guy himself.

Izandurrrrrr · Oct 31, 2013

Ive seen breakups and divorces because of poker, I think I still would play if my spouse hated it, maybe thats why im alone.

locha2013 · Oct 31, 2013

My mother hates it, because i become aggressive when i loose with better hands. I knock on my head or something like this, what makes her crazy and she want to forbid me the poker after that but im hard nut too.

rdm4k · Oct 31, 2013

eheheh

dirtyoldog · Oct 31, 2013

all women hate to see you enjoying yourself.it doesn't matter what it is even if its just taking a nap.it foils all the time that they have been sucking the life out of you

lovemiscou · Oct 31, 2013

Nice one rdm4k it was funny

My wife doesn t mind all my poker playing, but i try and do things with her also
it helps a lot because i do play a lot of poker

rifflemao · Oct 31, 2013

nl_incognito said:
Do any of you have a spouse who hates when you play poker? If so, how do you handle it? My wife hates when I play. I get off work an hour earlier than her, so that's really the only time I have to play. If I do play while she is home, she just runs her mouth and it tilts me so hard. I just recently lost $2,000 and she was more happy than upset. Even when I withdrawal money, she continues to say it's not real money. Any of you guys deal or had to deal with this? How can I resolve this?

My best friend has the greatest wife in the world in that regard (plus she's beautiful). She lets him have his poker time, and he gives her some of his winnings. It's a win-win: She respects that he's passionate about his hobby, and he respects her by sharing. They are

.

If he was not a winning player though, she would probably react differently.

Another friend's wife is ocd and is unhappy unless hubby is up doing some chore or home improvement task. She won't let him have a hobby, and he won't stand his ground. It disgusts me because he is generally not a pushover, except with her.

I would talk to your wife and let her know that you're passionate about poker; and that it bothers you that she is practically betting against you. That should never happen without just cause. Try to find out what her problem is with the game, and see if you can help her see it differently.

It might help to tell her about some high profile poker players in the business world, and how playing poker benefited them.

arahel_jazz · Oct 31, 2013

It's all about balance. She has to feel that you think more of her than you do of Poker. That's the challenge.

dirtyoldog · Oct 31, 2013

arahel_jazz said:
It's all about balance. She has to feel that you think more of her than you do of Poker. That's the challenge.

this is were bluffing comes in

United · Oct 31, 2013

rdm4k said:
eheheh

**** I lost

Also my fiance is fine with it so long as I do it when she isn't around (which is until 3 in the afternoon or when i catch a break from class)

Raving Lunatic · Oct 31, 2013

My wife is fine with me playing poker. I will play on laptop she likes to lay next to me and watch. She will ask question when I play and she tries to understand the game.

She knows that poker is one of things I enjoy doing and she likes to see me happy. I have asked her if she would like to play she usually says I would rather just watch you.

Debi · Oct 31, 2013

Yea - you really need to make sure you are balancing it with quality time spent with her.

Is there something she loves to do on her own? If so encourage and support that and maybe she will be more understanding.

In a marriage it is important that you each have things you enjoy doing and that you support each other's hobbies. My husband loves golf and I love playing poker - it works for both of us.

However when I was playing tournaments online 6-12 hours a day 4-5 days a week there was not a good balance and he wasn't thrilled. You really do have to make sure that you do things together.

Show her this thread.

rdm4k · Oct 31, 2013

dakota-xx said:
Yea - you really need to make sure you are balancing it with quality time spent with her.

Is there something she loves to do on her own? If so encourage and support that and maybe she will be more understanding.

In a marriage it is important that you each have things you enjoy doing and that you support each other's hobbies. My husband loves golf and I love playing poker - it works for both of us.

However when I was playing tournaments online 6-12 hours a day 4-5 days a week there was not a good balance and he wasn't thrilled. You really do have to make sure that you do things together.

Show her this thread.

u completely right, dakota-. balancing is so important!!
the problem is with the tournaments. my fiance come back home and try do not look at me too bothered but i can feel her.
and my play loose quality coz i know that she would like to spend the time with me, differently.

When u making polek for a living have to be different-. Without the support of your other half u want to go too far

joshuawacaster · Oct 31, 2013

Anyone play poker WITH their spouse? Now thats a bank account ledger which must be at constant risk.

cotta777 · Oct 31, 2013

Its extremely hard to balance it alot of us can vouch for you especially ones who are married or have kids.

You just need to weight up what you want long term and if she treats you fair with every other aspect you enjoy doing

my gf can get really nasty over it. It massively negs me out, in fact I play outstanding when its just me its like her presence effects my positivity and focus.
and makes me depressed constantly calling me a waster for spending so much time improving my game even tho ive spent loads on nights out, food, take aways etc

In fact ive actually been kicked out of home and things are pretty bitter ive tried so hard to fix it and cut down but it appears broken

'maybe a blessing in disguise

SANDYHOOKER KY · Oct 31, 2013

I'm lucky i guess. My G-F is cool with it, whether i play 10 hours, or 80. She will occasionally play when the mobile account she uses works right. I play when she's already asleep anyway, so there's no friction there. I haven't deposited since black friday, so money is no problem. I suggest you buy her some roses, some high quality imported chocolates, and engage in some intense making 'up' sessions and you won't hear another word.:hmmmm:

sam1chips · Oct 31, 2013

rdm4k said:
eheheh

Hahahah!

dmorris68 · Oct 31, 2013

My wife is even more of a degenerate than I am. I can't keep her away from slots, bingo, etc. When she saw I was making money at poker, she wanted to play too, so I used to transfer her money on Stars and FT and she'd play micro SNGs. She never was patient enough to actually learn proper play, to her it was just gambling like playing the slots. After awhile she got bored with it and moved on to other things. She does enjoy our family poker nights though -- around holidays and other family gatherings, she's the one pestering me to get out the poker kit.

My playing poker is actually the one thing I can get away with when she wants me to do something else. Usually when she steps in my office to ask me to do something, she first asks "are you playing poker?" LOL.

It also helps that she's often the main beneficiary of my poker winnings. We've taken a few trips and made a few significant purchases thanks to poker.

rdm4k · Oct 31, 2013

cotta777 said:
Its extremely hard to balance it alot of us can vouch for you especially ones who are married or have kids.

You just need to weight up what you want long term and if she treats you fair with every other aspect you enjoy doing

my gf can get really nasty over it. It massively negs me out, in fact I play outstanding when its just me its like her presence effects my positivity and focus.
and makes me depressed constantly calling me a waster for spending so much time improving my game even tho ive spent loads on nights out, food, take aways etc

In fact ive actually been kicked out of home and things are pretty bitter ive tried so hard to fix it and cut down but it appears broken

'maybe a blessing in disguise

gl mate!!

to be my fiance, she HAVE TO understand that poker is a part of my life.
Usually i told them as soon as i could. not too early to avoid prejudices not too late to avoid mis-understanding. Being clear is the best -always-

You know what? i have the secret !! and i want to share it with ya!

The secret is

to be a winner player !! I used to send her (previous gl) load of gifts and she was very happy and fascinated about this world- on how a smarter guy than another one could makes more money than her (a lawyer!!) just clicking buttons capitalizing his edge on the opponents.

Then the happy time is gone.- Due to a change of life (moved abroad ect) I quit poker for a while and now I am playing recreationally (often with a very small profit intended to be re-invested in the game.)
U see the point?

...my actual fiance is not so happy like the previous one!

that's all!

clownbaby · Oct 31, 2013

Raving Lunatic said:
My wife is fine with me playing poker. I will play on laptop she likes to lay next to me and watch. She will ask question when I play and she tries to understand the game.

She knows that poker is one of things I enjoy doing and she likes to see me happy. I have asked her if she would like to play she usually says I would rather just watch you.

That sounds like a solid relationship. She respects the fact you enjoy the game. I am sure you pay her the same respects in other ways.

LeanAndMean · Oct 31, 2013

My spouse and I used to play online poker together, but he quit when he lost too much. He doesn't mind my playing at all. We use my winnings to take trips where we play casino poker together. For some reason he can hold his own in a live game.

chauncey274 · Oct 31, 2013

nl_incognito said:
Do any of you have a spouse who hates when you play poker? If so, how do you handle it? My wife hates when I play. I get off work an hour earlier than her, so that's really the only time I have to play. If I do play while she is home, she just runs her mouth and it tilts me so hard. I just recently lost $2,000 and she was more happy than upset. Even when I withdrawal money, she continues to say it's not real money. Any of you guys deal or had to deal with this? How can I resolve this?

You just have to be understanding. Most likely there are underlying issues here. I try my best to be extremely considerate. I play when she is doing something that she enjoys. So if she's chilling and watching tv i pull out the laptop and play. It never bothers her unless I'm in some really long tournament, which I try to avoid. And I play on the weekends after she's asleep or laying in bed with her.

I will say though that some women do fall under the "hates anything that makes you happy" category. And that's something that goes far beyond poker. Gotta either seek counseling or explore other options, or just be miserable for the rest of your life, lol.

Spouse upset of you playing poker?

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