The Funny Things Bad Players Say

Gukeriporu · Sep 23, 2013

Most of players that lose are correct. But unfortunately there is also these who are sayint: you mother .. , you must die etc. After palying cards like 2 7 , 3 8 etc ...

xdeucesx · Sep 23, 2013

"I bet for information"

SavagePenguin · Sep 23, 2013

I've seen this several times:

Step 1) Villain has a huge pocket pair and limps in early position to trap.
Step 2) It's folded around to the big blind, who checks.
Step 3) The flop gives the big blind a big hand.
Step 4) All the chips go in and the villain gets angry and yells at the big blind for playing such lousy cards.

Somewhat unrelated, but I remember reading someone post something like this in the CC hand analysis forum years ago:
"I don't have the hand history exactly but I had 7s/8s and I flopped two pair, a straight draw, and a flush draw. I checked to trap and hit hit a set on the turn. Then we got it all in and I went broke AGAIN! What am I supposed to do there?"

Then one of the CC regulars told him that flopping all of those draws was impossible with two pair.
I LOL'd.

dresturn2 · Sep 23, 2013

late night grinding fulltilt a few years ago and one guy was spewing off hundreds mostly to one guy and everytime he lost a pot to him he went "atta boy, German ****"...lol...still cant get it out of my head

loafes · Sep 23, 2013

SavagePenguin said:
I've seen this several times:

Step 1) Villain has a huge pocket pair and limps in early position to trap.
Step 2) It's folded around to the big blind, who checks.
Step 3) The flop gives the big blind a big hand.
Step 4) All the chips go in and the villain gets angry and yells at the big blind for playing such lousy cards.

Somewhat unrelated, but I remember reading someone post something like this in the CC hand analysis forum years ago:
"I don't have the hand history exactly but I had 7s/8s and I flopped two pair, a straight draw, and a flush draw. I checked to trap and hit hit a set on the turn. Then we got it all in and I went broke AGAIN! What am I supposed to do there?"

Then one of the CC regulars told him that flopping all of those draws was impossible with two pair.
I LOL'd.

Yeah I see players getting abused for makin big hands from a free BB all the time.

Ha ha maybe it was omaha and we just dont know heros other two cards

fasteddee74 · Sep 23, 2013

I hear people that play cash limit hold em say, I do not play no limit because I do not want some idiot calling my raise with K8 suited and suck out on me. Then I lose a $300 or $400 pot. I try telling them you want them to play marginal hands against your monsters. Let them get it in behind, your monsters will win more than they lose.

josephs333 · Sep 23, 2013

I like sitting beside a older person and they always raise up their cards so that you see them almost ever hand.

squeeze10 · Sep 23, 2013

hahahahahahaha, its so funny "Friend: No. 27 will lose more times. I read online that it was the worst hand."

DaMan1313 · Sep 23, 2013

Four Dogs said:
Lol. We can't be too critical. These are not stupid people (Ok, Carl was pretty stupid) and to her this made perfect sense. For the most part these are wonderful folks that get along in life quite well, but throw them into the water and they do what comes natural to anyone who can't swim, they flail about helplessly because that's all they know. Every bad player has a reason for what they do but I'm beginning to realize that trying to tease out the logic behind that reasoning is a massive waste of time.

Totally agree if not for these people we wouldn't make money, everyone plays for different reasons some just want to have fun and enjoy the thrill of sucking out lets give them what they are there for with no judgemet or criticism so that they keep coming back and on Customer appretiation day IDK lets buy them chocolates or something.

Matt Vaughan · Sep 23, 2013

xdeuceswild81xx said:
"I bet for information"

"I re-raised for information"

DunningKruger · Sep 23, 2013

I was bluffing when I called you on the river there.

ELDONKOII · Sep 26, 2013

i had a guy in a tourney who was moaning all the time but he said to me : i quote " you are a crap poker player, you only ever play the winning hand " well i didnt quite know what to say to that hahahah

LD1977 · Sep 26, 2013

I received a lecture from a fish yesterday after he rivered me and I called his 3rd barrel (I was ahead the whole time and was letting him suicide into me since he raised preflop and his sizing meant stackoff by the river).

He "sympathetically" told me that folding my 2 pairs was hard etc. (well, yeah, against him it was hard

)

I know it is funny but getting stacked by a moron AND lectured always makes me mute them

NvrBlufn · Sep 26, 2013

josephs333 said:
I like sitting beside a older person and they always raise up their cards so that you see them almost ever hand.

Bwahahaha.... I'm not the only one who notices this?! Lol

NvrBlufn · Sep 26, 2013

Okay. I have another one. This happened at a bar league tournament and you'll have to excuse me I'm still a little angry about it, being my bust out hand.

I raised from the button with 10-9 of diamonds and got called by the Blinds.

The flop came Q 9 3, ALL HEARTS.

Blinds check weak and I decide to take a firm stance shove to kill them off their draws. The Big Blind CALLS, his hand is K7 off suit, the 7 is a heart. He EFFING called with the 7h! :dontknow:

Later he confesses almost apologetically and definitely embarrassed, that he didn't know what his own cards where.

He thought he had the flush when he called... Well we were dead even in chips so this was for both our tournament lives. Unfortunately my stupid drunk dealer plays commentary for the table and after sitting on the deck for a stone cold minute waiting for the chips to get settled announces for everyone that "any heart and you're screwed..." Turns the

. lmfao (well, not at the time -- Not really

)

Anyways here is the punchline... His rather stocky girlfriend is the bad player in this situation and she has been standing behind him rubbing his shoulders and telling him what a good boy he is. She had played on another table but got wiped out the first time she landed a pocket pair. So she comes to his defense and says " uhm, yeah that's called a BLUFF don't you know?"

No, I don't know. You don't call bets for all your chips with a King High unless you think you're some kind of hero or plan on sucking out. That isn't a bluff when it happens either... Nope. Not what it's called. LOL :bootyshak

Does she really think you can CALL any bet and does she consider that to be a BLUFF so long as you're behind? *sigh* Whatever, totally not worth it.

Mr Sandbag · Sep 26, 2013

NvrBlufn said:
Okay. I have another one. This happened at a bar league tournament and you'll have to excuse me I'm still a little angry about it, being my bust out hand.

I raised from the button with 10-9 of diamonds and got called by the Blinds.

The flop came Q 9 3, ALL HEARTS.

Blinds check weak and I decide to take a firm stance shove to kill them off their draws. The Big Blind CALLS, his hand is K7 off suit, the 7 is a heart. He EFFING called with the 7h! :dontknow:

Later he confesses almost apologetically and definitely embarrassed, that he didn't know what his own cards where.

He thought he had the flush when he called... Well we were dead even in chips so this was for both our tournament lives. Unfortunately my stupid drunk dealer plays commentary for the table and after sitting on the deck for a stone cold minute waiting for the chips to get settled announces for everyone that "any heart and you're screwed..." Turns the . lmfao (well, not at the time -- Not really )

Anyways here is the punchline... His rather stocky girlfriend is the bad player in this situation and she has been standing behind him rubbing his shoulders and telling him what a good boy he is. She had played on another table but got wiped out the first time she landed a pocket pair. So she comes to his defense and says " uhm, yeah that's called a BLUFF don't you know?"

No, I don't know. You don't call bets for all your chips with a King High unless you think you're some kind of hero or plan on sucking out. That isn't a bluff when it happens either... Nope. Not what it's called. LOL :bootyshak

Does she really think you can CALL any bet and does she consider that to be a BLUFF so long as you're behind? *sigh* Whatever, totally not worth it.

I'd flip out if the dealer offered commentary like that.

And I love when people don't understand bluffing. They'll call a river bet because they think the bettor is bluffing but with a hand that can't even beat most bluffs.

Jair83 · Sep 26, 2013

Four Dogs said:
I heard this last night and it was all I could do to keep from falling off my chair in laughter. This annoying older guy to my right has been yacking in my ear for hours. I had been friendly with him but he was really very unlikable.

A hand came down that he had limped into and I had folded. The flop came out something like and someone made a pot sized bet. He grunted a little, mucked his cards and made a comment about how he never hits his flops. Anyway, the bet was called and the turn was . "Sonovabitch" he whispers in my ear. "I folded , if that turn card was the instead of the I'd have a flush draw now."

These players need ALL respect, who are Bad does not mean, never Seran Buenos Players ... and Berry cards imagine now that's something% "· $%" $% "$ &

renee4now · Oct 3, 2013

"I was trying to see if I could get on a draw." Yep, this was actually said by a bad player. lol

newbie in training · Oct 3, 2013

I remeber I was playing a .11 hyper turbo on carbon and 3 players left I bluff half my stack guy raise all in (had me stacked) and I fold then the guy says what a donk and I go on to get to top 2 with the same guy and win LOL

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I537 using Tapatalk 2

stevenright · Oct 3, 2013

newbie in training said:
I remeber I was playing a .11 hyper turbo on carbon and 3 players left I bluff half my stack guy raise all in (had me stacked) and I fold then the guy says what a donk and I go on to get to top 2 with the same guy and win LOL

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I537 using Tapatalk 2

there's a good example of what a bad player would say lol

blueskies · Oct 8, 2013

I have a frd who said to me: "It doesn't matter what you have, it's what I have and how likely you can beat it."

Online-wise, a lot of idiot plays make stupid plays and blame the other person for being stupid. E.g. a guy limps with KK. Min bets 3 times, then calls a shove on the river. The other guy rivers two pairs. He starts calling the other guy a lucky fish blah blah blah.

loafes · Oct 8, 2013

blueskies said:
Online-wise, a lot of idiot plays make stupid plays and blame the other person for being stupid. E.g. a guy limps with KK. Min bets 3 times, then calls a shove on the river. The other guy rivers two pairs. He starts calling the other guy a lucky fish blah blah blah.

I love out drawing the players who min bet three 2-3 streets with strong made hands. It allows me to chase pretty much anything, chase my gutshot, sure I'm getting great odds, chase my two pair why not I'm getting to see the river cheap plus I know they'll pay me off when I hit. call with an underpair, sometimes if theyre deep enough I can do even this knowing the'll give me their stack when I hit trips

Henry Minute · Oct 9, 2013

zEric7x said:
This was at a live table. I once had 2 diamond and heart hole cards and I thought I hit a flush when I didn't. That made me feel pretty bad at the point. Everybody at the table just told me it happens but I really bet they thought I didn't know what I was doing .

I've never confused suits (unless I have and never noticed

) but I have mistaken A4 for AA before now. Cost me most of my stack.

A lot later I learned that A4 is known as Blind man's Rockets.

Fuffufnick · Oct 10, 2013

The following happened in an mtt. UTG +1 (who had been playing very snug) opens for 3x. Folded around to the CO.. typical table coach who's been berating everyone for anything that pops into his head.. repops him... opener comes over that. CO, not to be out done, clicks it back..opener shoves and CO calls. I guess everyone at the table knew what the opener had so it was no surprise when he turned over AA. CO had AJo. Someone at the table started giving "The Coach" a bit of grieve about calling off a 6 bet shove with AJo to which he replied, "I had position.. it was a positional call".

kissapig · Oct 10, 2013

Played live and did the same thing, diamond heart and thought I had a flush. Went to showdown and I just hung my head. Went on to show a profit that night, table didn't believe a word out of me.

The Funny Things Bad Players Say

Gukeriporu

Enthusiast

xdeucesx

Bar Master

SavagePenguin

Put the win in penguin

dresturn2

Visionary

loafes

Legend

fasteddee74

Rock Star

josephs333

Rock Star

squeeze10

Enthusiast

DaMan1313

Enthusiast

Matt Vaughan

King of Moody Rants

DunningKruger

Legend

ELDONKOII

Enthusiast

LD1977

Legend

NvrBlufn

Rock Star

NvrBlufn

Rock Star

Mr Sandbag

Legend

Jair83

Rock Star

renee4now

Rising Star

newbie in training

Legend

stevenright

Visionary

blueskies

Legend

loafes

Legend

Henry Minute

Legend

Fuffufnick

Enthusiast

kissapig

Rock Star

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